I think about a world to come where the books were found by the golden ones, written in pain, written in awe by a puzzled man who questioned, "What are we here for?" All the strangers came today and it looks as though they're here to stay.

-David Bowie "Oh! You Pretty Things"

Wednesday, March 16, 2011

The Monitor Files 2: DC Imposters

The Monitor is a DC comics character whose sole purpose is to monitor the universe for aberrations, universe-hoppers who do not belong in our universe. The Monitor Files point out individuals in the smash hit MMO DC Universe Online who clearly are not of this universe.

In the second installation, we deal with a series of characters who should be welcomed by the monitor: DC heroes. But these aren't the DC heroes that we know and love. The DC heroes we know and love are NPCs, whereas these characters are not. These DC heroes are universe-jumpers, and they must be stopped.

1. Artemis

While most of us are unfamiliar with the mysterious women of Themiscyra, but it is the Monitor's job to keep track of even the most obscure creatures of this universe. And the verdict is that this Artemis does not belong here.

2. Flash

This Flash didn't know which direction the bolt on his chest should face, so he just decided to have one of each. Any detective of worth could see through this one, and the Monitor isn't just any detective.

3. Huntress

Huntress is the Earth-Two daughter of Batman and Catwoman, and even if she's been retconned into the Earth-One continuity, this Huntress certainly does not belong.

4. Nightwing

Former ward of Batman, Nightwing is now a hero of his own. But there's only room for one Nightwing in this universe.

5. Red Hood

Let's hope that this Red Hood is the one resurrected by Ra's al Ghul and not the lame one who came back because Superboy-Prime punched the multiverse. Whichever one it is, it certainly doesn't belong in this universe.

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