I think about a world to come where the books were found by the golden ones, written in pain, written in awe by a puzzled man who questioned, "What are we here for?" All the strangers came today and it looks as though they're here to stay.

-David Bowie "Oh! You Pretty Things"

Saturday, March 6, 2010

Dominos - The Pizza Turnaround

This December Domino's Pizza started a new advertising campaign called "The Pizza Turnaround." I was kind of baffled when I saw the first commercial.

I'm no advertising genius, but a campaign that begins by telling people all the bad things about Domino's Pizza does not seem like a good way to raise money. The campaign suggested that Domino's is a democratic agency that listens to the feedback of its customers, and that they were essentially making a brave new pizza.

My interest was piqued to the point that I ordered pizza for myself for the first time in my life. I'd ordered it for a group or called in an order my parents were making, but I'd never gotten a pizza just for Justin until Domino's began to run these ads. Statistics show that Domino's gained a lot of new converts with this bold campaign: their fourth quarter profits more than doubled compared to the previous year as a result of "the pizza turnaround."

The commercials are merely Step 1 in a multifaceted process by which Domino's hooks you. Step 2 involves the new on-line ordering system in which one checks boxes for each desired ingredient and a virtual pizza is assembled before your eyes. Step 3 is the Domino's Tracker, tracking the process of your pizza from order to delivery.

When I first ordered from Domino's the delivery person called me the very second that the bar went past Quality Check into Out For Delivery.

Now at this point in the process you probably feel a little guilty. You probably ordered more pizza than you needed, and you know you're going to keep eating even when you are full. Because it's pizza, for the love of God. That's what you do! You weren't even healthy enough to leave the apartment and pick up the pizza yourself. This is where Domino's is at its sneakiest: Step 4 is where Games the Give promises to donate money to charities if you'll just stay on their web site and play bootleg versions of games you already love like Snood.

If you're anything like me you play games until your pizza has arrived, gorge yourself, suffer indigestion that leads unsurprisingly to insomnia, call in sick the next day, and once the illness has passed you begin to wonder when you'll partake in the fun process of ordering from Domino's again.

SPOILER: You're going to order from them again as soon as you're out of groceries.

No comments:

Post a Comment