I think about a world to come where the books were found by the golden ones, written in pain, written in awe by a puzzled man who questioned, "What are we here for?" All the strangers came today and it looks as though they're here to stay.

-David Bowie "Oh! You Pretty Things"

Wednesday, March 2, 2011

Radiohead The King of Limbs on If It Bleeds...


I believe that Amy Bolan's If It Bleeds... can stand on its own without my promotion, but any truly egotistical blogger is going to jump to promote a blog that he or she is referenced on. Such is the case with Amy's review of Radiohead's new album The King of Limbs. Not only has Amy posted a great review of a fantastic album, but she's also managed to include me in the post. When Amy writes, "My boyfriend," feel free to read it as, "Justin Tiemeyer, of Cavemengo," "Justin Tiemeyer, voice of our generation," or my personal favorite, "Justin Tiemeyer, boyfriend trying to compensate for the fact that his girlfriend is more attractive and talented than him." However you read it, just make sure you hop on over to If It Bleeds... and read Amy's review. Here is a direct link.

2nd Annual And the Nominees Should Have Been...

My ten favorite films of 2010 in alphabetical order.

1. The American


George Clooney's contemplative film regarding the minutia and loneliness of a spy's life is easily one of the most tragically overlooked movies of the year. Blogger Josh Toulouse agreed that The American was overlooked, but prefers the 2005 Ralph Fiennes film The Constant Gardener. I thought The American was much better than The Constant Gardener and I thought Clooney sold his character better than Fiennes. Whenever something is overlooked at the Oscars I tend to blame it on the fact that they let Michael Bay vote. It is no different in the case of The American.

2. Black Swan


When reviews started coming out accusing Black Swan of being horrible, sad and campy, I was outraged. Natalie Portman's emotionally complex role required the true acting grit of a female Hamlet (and I'm not talking about Mel Gibson). Black Swan was one of the most simple and straight forward films that Darren Aronovsky has ever released but also one of the best delivered films he's ever done, making it both accessible and brilliant. The Academy did the right thing in nominating Black Swan. Letting The King's Speech win the Oscar, however, was not so great of a choice.

3. Exit Through the Gift Shop


When Justin Timberlake proclaimed himself to be Banksy at the Academy Awards, I thought, "Hey, maybe!" When Exit Through the Gift Shop lost Best Documentary Feature to Inside Job, I let out a resounding, Will Smith-esque, "Hell no!" I've had a problem with the idea of a documentary feature for some time now, mainly because every documentary I've seen in the last couple of years has about forty minutes tops of interesting footage and argument to it. Not only is Exit Through the Gift Shop the first film I've seen in years that justifies a run time of 87 minutes, it is possibly the best documentary I've ever seen.

4. The Fighter


On the one hand, I had a whole lot of difficulty with the pacing of The Fighter. On the other hand, I cannot remember a time when I've felt such a variety of intense emotions, from humor to love to sadness to anger. There were several times when I just felt deeply hurt, like someone had committed a great injustice to my kin. Though Christian Bale and Melissa Leo are in the spotlight, its very likely that Mark Wahlberg is my current man of the year. Bale mentioned that none of this was possible without Mark, and I can't help but love his knack for finding such genuinely human stories about the rise and fall of a human and the importance and difficulties of family. I can't help but to think that in watching The Fighter I am capable of seeing directly into Wahlberg's heart. And I like what I see.

5. Greenberg


Though I wish to give Greenberg the Moon award for being the most under-watched and under-appreciated film of 2010 I have to do so with two caveats. First of all, Moon was my choice for best film of 2009, whereas Greenberg is probably my favorite Indie film of 2010. Second of all, I admit that there is a small margin of error in my objectivity, because Greenberg is the first movie I saw with the love of my life, Amy Bolan.

6. Inception


I think a lot of people were making bets early on that Shutter Island was going to be the big buzz of 2010 even though it came out so early. While the film was interesting, I don't know that it packed the punch that viewers thought it would. Luckily, our good friend Leonardo DiCaprio, who I have determined is our generation's Jack Nicholson, had a second chance at wowing us in 2010. Inception was fantastic. In a world where special effects will forever be in the shadow of James Cameron's Avatar, Inception's infamous anti-gravity room scene proved that old-fashioned mechanics are still an option. With talks of a sequel to Dark Crystal in the works, I hope that Inception is a sign of the return of puppets and rotating rooms in a CG-heavy industry.

7. Rabbit Hole


Rabbit Hole was just a fantastic human drama with great performances from Nicole Kidman and Aaron Eckhart. The characters and situation were incredibly realistic. Becca's difficulty in imagining why God would have to kill children in order to make more angels reminded me of my own feelings of anger when church friends offered all-too-easy responses to my mom's struggle with breast cancer. I once imagined that Kidman was an egotistical actress only concerned with getting the Oscar, but in a film like Rabbit Hole it seems that she really just cares for the character. It wasn't big. It wasn't earth shattering. It was just a fantastic film that does what films have been doing for years, only it does it well.

8. The Social Network


It seems impossible that someone could make a good movie about Facebook. Lucky for us, the film industry does the impossible on a yearly, even quarterly basis. Aside from some pacing problems near the end, The Social Network was easily one of the best films I've seen in the last few years. They had the perfect crew: Fight Club director David Fincher, and West Wing writer Aaron Sorkin, with Jesse Eisenberg expertly playing Facebook founder Mark Zuckerberg (who may or may not have Asbergers) and Justin Timberlake as egotistical sleazeball Napster founder Sean Parker. If he keeps this up, Timberlake is bound to get himself an E.G.O.T.

9. True Grit


Sometimes I don't feel like it is fair to compare True Grit with the other movies that came out in 2010. When I think of it, I don't think of it alongside Black Swan and The Social Network. I think of it alongside One Flew Over the Cuckoo's Nest and Godfather. True Grit is an instant classic, one of those movies that forces publishing companies to update their books on greatest films. Even though I don't know that it compares with the films of 2010, I think that its exalted status certainly places it above The King's Speech as the most deserving of the Best Picture academy award.

10. Winter's Bone


There's not much more that I can say other than that the academy chose well in selecting Winter's Bone as one of the ten contenders for Best Picture. I suppose I'll just leave it at that.

LOST


As LOST slowly moved toward its conclusion, I was forced to think about what I would do in a world without LOST. After serious consideration, I determined that once LOST was off the air I would be capable of having a serious adult relationship. It seems that all of my attention and concern was tied up with the epic stories of Jack and Kate and Sawyer and John. On Friday, May 21, 2010, I met Amy Bolan at an Uno Night that Dave Rogers threw at his apartment for the sake of welcoming myself and Adam Friedli back to Michigan for the summer. On Sunday, May 23, 2010, LOST concluded its character-driven story in an emotionally satisfactory way. On Friday, May 28, 2010, I asked Amy on a date and we kissed for our first time at a follow-up Uno Party (an Uno Party at which not a single hand of Uno was played). As of March 2, 2011, upon writing this Great Revision post, Amy and I are still together and see no reason to discontinue our relationship. When LOST concluded, I also vowed not to re-watch a single episode until I had given myself at least a full year to detox. It's been pretty easy. Amy hasn't developed a desire to watch the show yet, mainly because every time she's ever flipped to LOST on TV all she's ever seen is people running and screaming. Nice one, Smokey.

Moon (2009)


If you love Sam Rockwell,
then you're going to love his performance(s) in Moon.

If not,
then Moon will make you love Sam Rockwell (and Moon).

If you love David Bowie,
then you're going to love his son, director Duncan Jones, who both made this film and was the subject of the David Bowie song "Kooks."

If not,
then *@#^*@DOESN_OT_COMPUTE*&@%^@$%$$@$#CANNOTDIVIDE*&@BYZERO(*&@#.

End.

Avatar (2009)


I'm as big of a fan of South Park as anybody. Heck, I'm probably a bigger fan than anyone. But I don't think that Matt Stone and Trey Parker would be happy if they made America into a bunch of South Park yeasayers, if South Park became some sort of political party. And yet that's what I thought when I talked to people about what they thought of Avatar. Some months before James Cameron's Avatar arrived in theaters, South Park aired an episode titled "Dances with Smurfs," suggesting the upcoming film Avatar was nothing but a rip-off of the 1990 film Dances with Wolves. Maybe Matt Stone and Trey Parker had a sneak preview of this film, or maybe they made an episode that pre-determined the opinion of thousands of Americans simply because they thought the trailer for Avatar looked silly.

This was one of the first times I noticed a certain fad in amateur film criticism. Movie watchers have a tendency to read reviews of the films they watch so that they can sound smart when someone asks them, "What movies have you seen recently?" It sometimes gets to the point where people will tell me everything that was wrong with a film without ever seeing the film. I'm forced to ask the question, "Are films made so that people can watch them and be entertained or are films made so that critics can watch them for us and we can paraphrase Ebert and Roeper and gain +7 moviegoer skills?" I believe it is the former.

If you don't fall into this category then I am certainly not criticizing you. While I found Avatar engaging throughout and easily the best-written film I have ever seen in 3D, two of the most important people in my life simply didn't like the movie. And if you're going to hate on the movie, why stop short at comparing it to Dances with Wolves? I prefer to compare it to FernGully: The Last Rainforest (which is far superior to Dances with Wolves) or perhaps even Norse legend. Have your own opinion. Then you can start your conversations with, "You know, Gene Shalit was way off when he said..." It sounds much smarter than, "Heh heh, Smurfs... Dances with Wolves..."

(It should be noted that I am not criticizing South Park. It is one of the best television programs that I have ever seen. I am criticizing mindless fans who just want to have something to say so they use someone else's voice instead of their own. That is all.)

Arnold 365, Day 61 (Terminator)