Old Rip's Tex-Mex Restaurant

I must have walked past Old Rip's Tex-Mex Restaurant a couple hundred times, walking to the grocery store, walking to other restaurants that I was less than pleased with, walking to school, but I never really gave the place a chance. The restaurant has two large picture windows facing the main road, and every evening I've seen nicely dressed people sitting in the restaurant enjoying themselves. I think I never went there until my last month in Fort Worth mainly because I thought I'd need a reservation. When Amy and I finally stopped in one afternoon, we were really surprised.

I do have to say that if you come to Old Rip's Tex-Mex Restaurant expecting classic and signature Tex-Mex entrees, you might be disappointed. I would describe Old Rip's as a Mexican restaurant with a couple of Tex-Mex inspired elements: mainly bacon, brisket, rib-eye and ranch dressing. I also have to say that I do not promote disappointing restaurants on this webs site, so if you can overlook the absence of Tex-Mex despite the emphasis on Tex-Mex in the restaurant's name you'll be happy.

What I recommend at Old Rip's is the burrito. I've had both the brisket burrito and the steak burrito, and while both are fantastic I would definitely suggest the steak. Amy had the chicken fajita burrito also, and she highly recommends that as well. My hypothesis is that all of their burritos are good. Burritos are filled with lettuce, tomato, guacamole, sour cream, pico, Monterey Jack, cheddar and cilantro. If I have one critique it is that ordering burritos like this can sometimes seem a little much. I am a fan of the ambition to put all of these fillings in a burrito, but I think these burritos hit a critical mass of flavor. I would suggest removing at least one of these fillings as suits you. I like to order burritos here without guacamole. It's not that I don't like guacamole, but I do think that the burrito has a better flavor balance without it. Amy likes to order burritos at Old Rip's without the sour cream. That's just what works best for her. All burritos are topped with queso and jalapeno peppers and served with Mexican rice and refried beans.

I did not find a lot of really good burritos in Fort Worth. It took non-traditional Mexican food like that at Old Rip's to keep me from declaring it a burrito-free zone. I would definitely check out Old Rip's if you're in Fort Worth, especially if you're in the Texas Christian University vicinity. March right past Fuzzy's - unless you just want queso with chips - and stop in at Old Rip's Tex-Mex Restaurant. You'll get better service and better food, and one of the best burritos in Fort Worth.

Old Rip's Tex-Mex Restaurant

3105 Cockrell Ave.

Fort Worth, TX 76109

Chubby's Burger Shack

Chubby's Burger Shack is in a gloomy part of Fort Worth surrounded by auto repair shops and 99 cent stores. The building is easy to miss. When you pull in it is never clear whether you're going to get a lube job or a fantastic meal. Chubby's is one of the many great restaurants in Fort Worth that is hidden in plain sight in a neighborhood you wouldn't expect to have anything more than an Applebees or a Chili's.

Chubby's projects the atmosphere of a small-town saloon. The people sitting at the bar all seem to know one another, a Texas variation on Cheers. After having a great meal, customers can ring a cowbell on the way out, an action that invokes a cheer from everyone else inside.

The menu has a bunch of choices, but I've never been able to see past the Big Nasty, a half-pound burger with chili, bacon, grilled jalapenos, onions, Monterrey jack and cheddar cheese. The Big Nasty is easily one of the best burgers in Fort Worth, and certainly the biggest of the best. The toppings compliment well the flavorful beef, and combined with a side of french fries or onion rings (both are really tasty) the Big Nasty is one heck of a meal.

Having recently become concerned with my health, I can tell you that Chubby's lives up to its name. My pants never quite fit right the day after I've eaten a Big Nasty. You should definitely check out Chubby's, but you probably shouldn't make it a habit. Chubby's goes well with a rigorous exercise regime.

I liked Chubby's Burger Shack enough that I've invented an advertising slogan: "Chubby's Burger Shack - I've got a Chubby just thinking about it!"

Chubby's Burger Shack

7618 Camp Bowie West

Fort Worth, TX 76116

Mama's Pizza

There are approximately 15 billion restaurants in the United States alone called Mama's Pizza. That's a 15% increase from last year. Though there are only 13 billion Papa's Pizza restaurants, Mama's employees make 20% less in profits than Papa's employees because America's full of patriarchal bigots. The above information is based entirely on lies. But seriously, there are a ton of restaurants called Mama's Pizza.

The Mama's Pizza that I am referring to is on Berry Street in Fort Worth, Texas. When you walk inside there's a really cool home-town independent pizza place feel. The servers are attentive and cool. There's a giant TV for watching March Madness basketball or whatever people much cooler than I am watch. (As anyone who has shared a hotel room with me recently can attest, I'd probably be surfing for King of the Hill reruns if they gave me the remote.)

As you may remember, I've been trying to overcome my pretensions Brooklyn-style and Chicago-style pizza are the only way to go. Like nearby Mellow Mushroom, Mama's Pizza does not fit into either of the main pizza styles. Unlike Mellow Mushroom, Mama's doesn't attempt to make gourmet pizza. If I had to describe Mama's Pizza I would have to say that it is like a home-style version of the kind of pizza you get at Chuck E. Cheese's, and while that description may not make your mouth water, Mama's Pizza certainly will.

My personal favorite is the pepperoni and sausage. (Pictured here, however, is the pepperoni and Italian sausage.) Mama's Pizza sausage is small and crumbly and it really hits the spot. Like most pizza, Mama's Pizza is good frozen, so get a big pizza and enjoy it for a week. After that, proceed directly to the gym and spend the next three weeks eating salads. (I just started watching my figure. Can you tell?)

Mama's Pizza

1813 West Berry Street

Fort Worth, TX 76110

Paranormal Activities - Fort Worth Army Airfield

June 14, 1947 - William Ware "Mac" Brazel notices some strange and unidentifiable debris at Foster homestead some 30 miles North of Roswell, New Mexico.

July 7, 1947 - Major Jesse Marcel, stationed at Roswell Army Airfield, and a "man in plainclothes" recover the so-called "Roswell debris."

July 8, 1947 - The "object" from Roswell is flown to Fort Worth Army Airfield according to the orders of General Roger M. Ramey of the Eighth Air Force and inspected by Warrant Officer Irving Newton.

March 11, 2011 - Justin Tiemeyer, accompanied by girlfriend Amy Bolan and friends Adam Friedli, Josh Toulouse, Adam Knorr and Corinne Shady see an opening night showing of Battle: Los Angeles at Rave Motion Picture Company at Ridgmar Mall in Fort Worth, Texas.

Last year at this time, I was spending my spring break investigating America's great UFO mystery in Roswell, New Mexico and the surrounding areas. This year I found myself stuck in Fort Worth for my last spring break prior to the completion of my master's degree. While it might seem boring to be stranded during spring break on the campus where you go to school and without a car, I found that instead I was right in the middle of the setting of chapter two of the Roswell story. It just so happens that the UFO debris from Roswell stopped at Fort Worth Army Air Field (Carswell Air Force Base) before being sent to storage at Wright-Patterson Air Force Base in Ohio.

Last year I was still unfamiliar with Fort Worth. By March of 2010 I had only been in Fort Worth for seven or so months. I knew that Carswell Air Force Base was supposed to be only ten or fifteen minutes from my apartment, but I had never been driven by it and had never heard anyone talk about it. Recently, I came to understand that the air field had been shut down and that Ridgmar Mall had been constructed on the Southern end of the former Air Force base.

Within a week, alien films Battle: Los Angeles and Paul were released in theaters, and the movie theater where I prefer to see my alien movies is on the grounds that hosted the Roswell object for some short period of time. Seeing an alien movie, however bad, where once stood the best known alien artifact in human history - now that's what I call a paranormal activity. Battle: Los Angeles was nothing like I had hoped it would be, but amidst the tragedy of an unsatisfying fictional alien narrative I found myself a part of America's great nonfictional alien narrative for the second consecutive spring break.

Ol' South Pancake House

In a previous post, I mentioned that there is a "holy trinity" of Fort Worth restaurants near TCU (Fuzzy's, Mellow Mushroom, Ol' South). I also mentioned that Mellow Mushroom is one of the two "holy" restaurants that belongs to my list of blogworthy restaurants. The other is Ol' South.

When asked about Ol' South, I once responded, "Ol' South is like IHOP if IHOP served good food." They serve, on one hand, rich variations on pancakes, waffles, and other breakfast delicacies, and, on the other hand, Texas favorites like chicken fried steak. I personally prefer Ol' South's take on Mexican food, specifically their breakfast tacos with chorizo. This is probably my favorite Mexican (alt-Mexican? Tex-Mex?) dish in Fort Worth.

The one thing I thought Ol' South was missing was hot sauce at every table. I found that tobasco is available upon request, which isn't all that exciting, but also that a personal favorite, Cholula, is available. There's nothing on Ol' South's menu that can't be garnished with Cholula. As a matter of fact, Amy had to stop me from putting it on a pancake and, in the process, destroy her image of pancakes proper.

If you visit Fort Worth and don't visit Ol' South, you're missing out. End of story.

Ol' South Pancake House

1509 South University Dr.

Fort Worth, TX 76107

Mellow Mushroom

When Amy came to Fort Worth I was challenged with the necessity of discerning which restaurants would be best to dine at during her short stay. Reflecting upon my first several visits to Fort Worth a couple years ago a sort of "Holy Trinity" of Fort Worth-near-TCU restaurants emerged, namely Fuzzy's Tacos on Berry, Ol' South on University, and a pizza place called Mellow Mushroom. Prior to bringing Amy to Mellow Mushroom I had little love for Mellow Mushroom, but dining there a couple days before TCU classes resumed for the semester I found that my disdain had come not from the restaurant itself but from the masses of wealthy, self-obsessed and often whiny undergraduates who frequent the popular pizza place.

Mellow Mushroom is a hip restaurant, and, as the name suggests, it plays upon the imagery of stoner culture. Amy was immediately reminded of a favorite sub shop in Tucson, Arizona called Cheba Hut. We ordered a Mellow Mushroom specialty A Magical Combination, which includes Magical Mystery Tour, a pesto base pizza with button and portabello mushrooms, mozerella, spinach, feta and jalapenos, and a Magic Hat #9 beer. The pizza tasted fantastic, and in the proper pizza style it was still good after sitting a couple days in Amy's car when I ate it in the parking lot of the Container Store. The Magic Hat #9 reminded me of my year living in Brooklyn where Magic Hat beers are much more common on tap at bars. It got me tipsy pretty quickly after only one beer, but also after spending a great deal of time moving my Christmas presents and bags back into my apartment.

Of the "Holy Trinity," two of the restaurants are pretty great. Mellow Mushroom is certainly one of them, and I suggest you check it out. As for the second of the great restaurants, I suppose you'll just have to stay tuned to Cavemengo in order to find out.

TO BE CONTINUED...

Mellow Mushroom

3455 Bluebonnet Circle

Fort Worth, TX 76109

Five Guys Burgers and Fries

The story of my visit to Five Guys is first and foremost a mathematical story problem. On Sunday evenings, I play Dungeons and Dragons with a group of buddies. On one particular Sunday I had the idea that we could share some fellowship around a different table, a table at Five Guys Burger and Fries on Hulen by the mall. I invited my six friends, Josh, Adam, David, Dustin, Chad and Randy to accompany me on my first voyage to this particular burger joint. Dustin had to work and Chad had a previous dinner engagement, but the rest of us hopped in a car and drove on out to Five Guys. How many people, including myself, went to eat at Five Guys?

The answer is five guys. Five guys went that day to eat at Five Guys.

I'm writing this blog today not for the sake of promoting arithmetic to a population that finds story problems annoying, but to tell you that the five guys that went out to dinner that evening found themselves incredibly satisfied with their Five Guys experience.

Prior to arriving at Five Guys I did some research online. This is because I found it difficult to believe that a fast food restaurant could be anywhere near as good as my buddy Josh boasted. I came across a ranking of the best fast food by Zagat Survey and Five Guys was rated number one in fast food hamburgers and number two in fast food french fries behind McDonalds. In-N-Out Burger, the only fast food burger place I'd ever heard anyone rave about prior to the Five Guys hubbub was ranked right behind Five Guys for both burgers and fries. I also came across possibly the most creative review I've ever read of any restaurant ever: "Willy Wonka's of Burgercraft" (Washingtonpost.com 2000).

The normal Hamburger at Five Guys is what would be called a double at other restaurants, equipped with two beef patties and your choice of toppings. If two beef patties is two much (PUN!) then you should order the Little Hamburger, which is more like a single at other restaurants than it is like a kid's hamburger. I ordered a cheeseburger with mayo, lettuce, pickles, grilled onions, grilled mushrooms, ketchup and mustard (this is the standard Five Guys "everything" or "all the way" only I asked them to hold the tomatoes). It was probably the best fast food burger I had ever eaten, and not only that, but it was probably the second or third best burger I've eaten in Fort Worth, and I've eaten at some of the most respected gourmet burger restaurants in the city. The burger was huge and dense and the meat tasted fantastic. The grilled onions, mushrooms, and pickles really complemented the taste.

As for french fries, there are two choices, Five Guys style or Cajun style. Both are fantastic. The Five Guys style fries are the ones that are pictured below, but I really think that the Cajun style fries are the best choice. All french fries are hand cut and cooked in peanut oil, but the Cajun style is covered in Cajun seasoning, and that's what makes the difference. Another thing that separates Five Guys from other burger restaurants is the huge serving sizes for the french fries. A regular sized fries is enough to feed two normal-sized people (or one and a half Justin Tiemeyers - I'm kind of a big dude), and though I don't know how many the large will feed, because I've never ordered one myself, I would imagine that it feeds one and a half Cloverfields.

I've been to Five Guys twice now, and I keep forgetting to order The Obama. While doing my research, I stumbled across an article where President Barack Obama was seen ordering burgers for him and his staff in a Washington DC Five Guys. I really enjoyed this article because it answered the question I would like to know if I saw President Obama at Five Guys, namely, what's Obama's favorite burger? To answer this question, the article explains that Obama prefers his Five Guys cheeseburger with lettuce, tomato, jalapeno peppers and mustard. While I have yet to order The Obama, my friend Gabe managed to order one when I took him to Five Guys this week. He took one bite and told me that the burger tasted like change.

I never thought chain food could taste this good. Five Guys Burgers and Fries can be found in forty US states and five Canadian provinces. I can't vouch for every single location, but I can vouch for the following location(s):

Five Guys Burgers and Fries - Fishers
11670 Commercial Dr. Suite 600
Fishers, IN 46038

Five Guys Burgers and Fries - Hulen Corner

4833 S. Hulen Street

Fort Worth, TX 76132

Off the Bone BBQ

Off the Bone BBQ is the second barbecue restaurant in Fort Worth that I've chosen to put my good name behind. Like the first (Jesus BBQ), Off the Bone ought not to be judged by its outward appearance. It looks like a gas station turned restaurant turned abandoned building, but it is actually a great restaurant that serves the best ribs I've ever had in Fort Worth.

Before I even got my food, I was pleased with Off the Bone BBQ and that's because of the friendly service of one employee who exemplified all I used to strive for when I worked in concessions, fast food and retail. He was genial and charming, the kind of guy who cares about what you have to say and remembers you the next time you come in. Furthermore, he was keen on making sure we got our money's worth by emphasizing that we ought to take advantage of their free refills policy. I remember sitting down at the table before I received my order and despite my growling stomach I felt pleased. This one counter worker hooked me before I could even make a judgment regarding the quality of food. He did his job so well that I was already looking forward to coming back to Off the Bone in the future.

When we received our food, I was doubly prepared to return to Off the Bone. The ribs were fantastic. The meat fell "off the bone" (so it's not just a clever name). It was smoked and tender with a light char. I am no rib connoisseur, but my senses told me that I had just encountered something great. Luckily I was dining with a real rib pro, Gabe Pfefer, a Missourian familiar with the barbecue culture of Kansas City who with his vast knowledge affirmed all of my exclamations. These ribs are certifiably good. They're Facebook official.

I would also suggest experimenting with the sides. A rib dinner comes with Texas toast and two sides. It's a good sized meal with a lot of options for supplementary great taste.

I paraphrase the Men's Warehouse guy in saying, "You're going to love Off the Bone BBQ. I guarantee it."

Off the Bone BBQ

5144 Mansfield Hwy

Forest Hill, TX 76119

Jesus BBQ

When I first moved to Fort Worth from nearby Denton, Texas, my first complaint was that Fort Worth does not have a Rudy's Bar-B-Q. I don't want to tell you too much about Rudy's for fear of spoiling an upcoming blog post, but it's a really good regional chain of barbecue restaurants with some of the best meat I've ever tasted. The common response from Fort Worth natives is that Fort Worth has so many amazing barbecue restaurants that they don't need a Rudy's. I, of course, responded by asking where these amazing barbecue joints were. Most people were unable to come up with an answer, and those who did directed me to subpar and occasionally decent barbecue. It took me well over a year of looking for good barbecue in Fort Worth before I encountered Jesus BBQ.

Jesus BBQ is located South of downtown Fort Worth. It is on the South side, with the visuals that one would imagine while listening to the Moby song (possibly featuring Gwen Stefani) of the same name. The area is run down. You can imagine people with "weapons in hand as [they] go for a ride." Everything, including Jesus BBQ, looks abandoned in this part of town. It would be so easy to walk by Jesus BBQ and never once step inside, because the building looks like the places in movies where mobsters and drug dealers do their business. If I hadn't read up on Jesus BBQ I think I'd have steered clear for fear of two large men throwing me out in much the same way that Uncle Phil always threw out Jazzy Jeff on Fresh Prince.

The menu at Jesus BBQ has mostly Mexican dishes, but also specialty barbecue items (linke, ribs, beef) and the highly recommended Tex-Mex special Taco de Barbacoa. I have been hearing of the wonders of Barbacoa tacos for weeks now, quite often in reference to Jesus BBQ, so I felt heavily inclined to choose the Barbacoa tacos. I was not let down. The Barbacoa taco was basically a soft tortilla filled with some of the best chopped brisket I have ever tasted. When they were served to me dry, I found myself disappointed, because I imagined they would be served with a sweet barbecue sauce. Upon eating, however, I found that the mixture of peppers that the brisket was cooked and served with gave the meat an interesting spicy seasoning that made barbecue sauce unnecessary.

Don't be too afraid of the surroundings to check out Jesus BBQ. At the same time, don't be so confident in your safety that you don't lock your car while you dine. The Jesus BBQ Taco de Barbacoa is one of the great gems of Fort Worth, Texas. Don't miss it.

Jesus BBQ

810 S. Main St.

Fort Worth, TX 76104

Yucatan Taco Stand

When it comes to Mexican, Tex-Mex, and Barbecue I've found a certain level of Hubris in Fort Worth. There is this resounding belief that if it comes from Fort Worth, Texas (read as The Wild Wild West) it's got to be better than anywhere else in the world. It's the old Pace Picante Sauce commercial sort of dichotomy: The South/West is good, The North/East is bad ("New York City?!?!?!"). An unfortunate result of this fact is that it sometimes seems like restaurants just aren't trying. I've found better burgers in Fort Worth than anything else.

I honestly don't think that Yucatan Taco Stand boasts of these same things. The reason I say this is because it's fairly clear to me that they are focused on making good, solid food that fills you up and tastes better than elsewhere. I think the Taco Stand comes into the game with the same standards as a Mexican restaurant in Michigan might. They feel like they have to prove that they can make great Mexican food, and as a result, they do. It's easily the best Mexican I've had in Fort Worth to date.

Personally, I'm a sucker for the Burrito filled with Spicy, Aged Chorizo. It honestly doesn't look like anything you couldn't get at Chipotle or Q'Doba, but it tastes wonderful. You have the option of getting it [ ] white or [x] wheat, and also between [ ] Red (Mild), [ ] Green (Medium), and [x] Habanero (Stupid) spices. I recommend getting a beverage also, because this is a restaurant where spicy actually means spicy. All burritos are filled with Chihuahua cheese, queso fresco, tomato, red onion, cilantro and roasted garlic aioli sauce.

One of these days I'm going to try the nachos, but I have to admit that it seems like something of a daunting task. I've seen the nachos placed in front of other customers and it's one of the largest nacho plates I've ever seen in my life. When I do order the nachos, I need to be fully ready to devote a weekend to it.

Yucatan Taco Stand - Magnolia

909 West Magnolia

Fort Worth, TX 76104

Yucatan Taco Stand - Southlake

2801 East Southlake Blvd

Southlake, TX 76092

Yucatan Taco Stand - Frisco

2809 Preston Rd.

Frisco, TX 75034

Charley's Old Fashioned Hamburgers

As soon as I ate at Love Shack in the Stockyards, I began shouting everywhere I went about how great their burgers were. When I said it was the best burger in Fort Worth, locals began to take that suggestion as a challenge. What about Kincaid's? Kincaid's is decent, but it's nothing to blog home about. What about Charley's Old Fashioned Hamburgers? This place is magnificent, and much like Love Shack it promises great home-style hamburgers and an outside dining experience. I had a Greatburger, two beef patties with cheese, cooked the old-school way, with cheese, lettuce, tomato, jalapenos, pickles and Canadian bacon. If the Love Shack Double Dirty Love didn't exist, this would easily be the best burger in Fort Worth.

Charley's Old Fashioned Hamburgers

4616 Granbury Rd.

Fort Worth, TX 76132

Love Shack

I went to the Love Shack in the Fort Worth Stockyards last night. It was easily the best food I've eaten in Fort Worth. I ordered the Double Dirty Love, a burger with bacon, cheese and quail egg. They're also known for their Milkshake of the day.

Love Shack has two locations:

Fort Worth Stockyards

110 E. Exchange Ave.

Fort Worth, TX 76164

Trinity Park - Fort Worth
817 Matisse, Suite 445

Fort Worth, TX 76107