Mama's Pizza

There are approximately 15 billion restaurants in the United States alone called Mama's Pizza. That's a 15% increase from last year. Though there are only 13 billion Papa's Pizza restaurants, Mama's employees make 20% less in profits than Papa's employees because America's full of patriarchal bigots. The above information is based entirely on lies. But seriously, there are a ton of restaurants called Mama's Pizza.

The Mama's Pizza that I am referring to is on Berry Street in Fort Worth, Texas. When you walk inside there's a really cool home-town independent pizza place feel. The servers are attentive and cool. There's a giant TV for watching March Madness basketball or whatever people much cooler than I am watch. (As anyone who has shared a hotel room with me recently can attest, I'd probably be surfing for King of the Hill reruns if they gave me the remote.)

As you may remember, I've been trying to overcome my pretensions Brooklyn-style and Chicago-style pizza are the only way to go. Like nearby Mellow Mushroom, Mama's Pizza does not fit into either of the main pizza styles. Unlike Mellow Mushroom, Mama's doesn't attempt to make gourmet pizza. If I had to describe Mama's Pizza I would have to say that it is like a home-style version of the kind of pizza you get at Chuck E. Cheese's, and while that description may not make your mouth water, Mama's Pizza certainly will.

My personal favorite is the pepperoni and sausage. (Pictured here, however, is the pepperoni and Italian sausage.) Mama's Pizza sausage is small and crumbly and it really hits the spot. Like most pizza, Mama's Pizza is good frozen, so get a big pizza and enjoy it for a week. After that, proceed directly to the gym and spend the next three weeks eating salads. (I just started watching my figure. Can you tell?)

Mama's Pizza

1813 West Berry Street

Fort Worth, TX 76110

Mellow Mushroom

When Amy came to Fort Worth I was challenged with the necessity of discerning which restaurants would be best to dine at during her short stay. Reflecting upon my first several visits to Fort Worth a couple years ago a sort of "Holy Trinity" of Fort Worth-near-TCU restaurants emerged, namely Fuzzy's Tacos on Berry, Ol' South on University, and a pizza place called Mellow Mushroom. Prior to bringing Amy to Mellow Mushroom I had little love for Mellow Mushroom, but dining there a couple days before TCU classes resumed for the semester I found that my disdain had come not from the restaurant itself but from the masses of wealthy, self-obsessed and often whiny undergraduates who frequent the popular pizza place.

Mellow Mushroom is a hip restaurant, and, as the name suggests, it plays upon the imagery of stoner culture. Amy was immediately reminded of a favorite sub shop in Tucson, Arizona called Cheba Hut. We ordered a Mellow Mushroom specialty A Magical Combination, which includes Magical Mystery Tour, a pesto base pizza with button and portabello mushrooms, mozerella, spinach, feta and jalapenos, and a Magic Hat #9 beer. The pizza tasted fantastic, and in the proper pizza style it was still good after sitting a couple days in Amy's car when I ate it in the parking lot of the Container Store. The Magic Hat #9 reminded me of my year living in Brooklyn where Magic Hat beers are much more common on tap at bars. It got me tipsy pretty quickly after only one beer, but also after spending a great deal of time moving my Christmas presents and bags back into my apartment.

Of the "Holy Trinity," two of the restaurants are pretty great. Mellow Mushroom is certainly one of them, and I suggest you check it out. As for the second of the great restaurants, I suppose you'll just have to stay tuned to Cavemengo in order to find out.

TO BE CONTINUED...

Mellow Mushroom

3455 Bluebonnet Circle

Fort Worth, TX 76109

Dominos - The Pizza Turnaround

This December Domino's Pizza started a new advertising campaign called "The Pizza Turnaround." I was kind of baffled when I saw the first commercial.

I'm no advertising genius, but a campaign that begins by telling people all the bad things about Domino's Pizza does not seem like a good way to raise money. The campaign suggested that Domino's is a democratic agency that listens to the feedback of its customers, and that they were essentially making a brave new pizza.

My interest was piqued to the point that I ordered pizza for myself for the first time in my life. I'd ordered it for a group or called in an order my parents were making, but I'd never gotten a pizza just for Justin until Domino's began to run these ads. Statistics show that Domino's gained a lot of new converts with this bold campaign: their fourth quarter profits more than doubled compared to the previous year as a result of "the pizza turnaround."

The commercials are merely Step 1 in a multifaceted process by which Domino's hooks you. Step 2 involves the new on-line ordering system in which one checks boxes for each desired ingredient and a virtual pizza is assembled before your eyes. Step 3 is the Domino's Tracker, tracking the process of your pizza from order to delivery.

When I first ordered from Domino's the delivery person called me the very second that the bar went past Quality Check into Out For Delivery.

Now at this point in the process you probably feel a little guilty. You probably ordered more pizza than you needed, and you know you're going to keep eating even when you are full. Because it's pizza, for the love of God. That's what you do! You weren't even healthy enough to leave the apartment and pick up the pizza yourself. This is where Domino's is at its sneakiest: Step 4 is where Games the Give promises to donate money to charities if you'll just stay on their web site and play bootleg versions of games you already love like Snood.

If you're anything like me you play games until your pizza has arrived, gorge yourself, suffer indigestion that leads unsurprisingly to insomnia, call in sick the next day, and once the illness has passed you begin to wonder when you'll partake in the fun process of ordering from Domino's again.

SPOILER: You're going to order from them again as soon as you're out of groceries.