LOST Easter Eggs in Arkham City

I think the concept of "Easter eggs" first started getting popular once videos changed over from VHS tapes to DVD discs. That is the first time I remember hearing this term. And what better topic to discuss the day after Easter than the phenomenon known as Easter eggs. If you're not familiar with the term, it simply means pictures or sounds hidden within something else.

I finished the main story of Batman: Arkham City about a week ago, but decided to keep playing until I defeated the Riddler. To do so, you must hunt down four hundred Easter eggs: Riddler trophies and riddles hidden throughout the game. I finally completed that Easter morning and then moved on to killing zombies (which also seems very Easter appropriate).

I was never the type to hunt for Easter eggs until the 2004 ABC television program LOST first aired. I got sucked into all the Hurley's in the background of Jin's flashback stuff, trying so hard to find the hidden messages in the show. I recently came to find out that Paul Dini, an early story editor for LOST was responsible for writing Arkham City.

I discovered my first reference to LOST fairly early on in the game. You see, Batman can detect the chatter of bored henchmen as he flies around the rooftops, and one such bored henchman states, "Did they ever explain what the island was?" But the really big LOST reference takes place in one of the Joker's video monologues:



It was nice to see an homage to a television program that took up so many hours of my time in a video game that has taken up so many hours of my time. I wasn't sentimental enough to cry - no, I used up all of those tears watching the last few minutes of Star Trek II: The Wrath of Khan on Good Friday, but it was a good moment for me no less.

Michael Emerson

Actor Michael Emerson. If you're anything like me you first encountered Emerson in the second season of LOST. I'd mention his character name, but even that would have spoilers surrounding it. Well, Emerson is back, and he's the star of the CBS show Person of Interest. Michael Emerson is a fantastic actor, and he can be fantastically creepy at times (he was on X-Files, once, you know, and they only hire creepy actors). I've rarely seen someone as talented at line delivery and facial expression, and I probably won't see many in the ages to come.

LOST Clip from Comic Con 2011

This cheeky recap of LOST, described as a scene from season one that got cut, pokes fun both at LOST and the fans' negative reaction to the show's series finale. If you haven't watched every episode of LOST you may not want to watch this vignette. In other words, SPOILERS!

LOST

As LOST slowly moved toward its conclusion, I was forced to think about what I would do in a world without LOST. After serious consideration, I determined that once LOST was off the air I would be capable of having a serious adult relationship. It seems that all of my attention and concern was tied up with the epic stories of Jack and Kate and Sawyer and John. On Friday, May 21, 2010, I met Amy Bolan at an Uno Night that Dave Rogers threw at his apartment for the sake of welcoming myself and Adam Friedli back to Michigan for the summer. On Sunday, May 23, 2010, LOST concluded its character-driven story in an emotionally satisfactory way. On Friday, May 28, 2010, I asked Amy on a date and we kissed for our first time at a follow-up Uno Party (an Uno Party at which not a single hand of Uno was played). As of March 2, 2011, upon writing this Great Revision post, Amy and I are still together and see no reason to discontinue our relationship. When LOST concluded, I also vowed not to re-watch a single episode until I had given myself at least a full year to detox. It's been pretty easy. Amy hasn't developed a desire to watch the show yet, mainly because every time she's ever flipped to LOST on TV all she's ever seen is people running and screaming. Nice one, Smokey.

Terry O'Quinn

Actor Terry O'Quinn. More than likely, if you recognize Mr. O'Quinn, it is from his role as John Locke on ABC's LOST, but he has also played important characters on other television programs like X-Files and ALIAS. O'Quinn is soft-spoken and rational until pushed to his limits, a fantastic balance of order and chaos, and possibly one of the best television actors I have ever seen.

Adam Friedli's Memories That Are Totally Real 2

In this photo: Justinyote: Creativious Awesomosius, Justin, Amy Runner: Femalious Mostexcellentacius, Amy

Justin and Amy are pretty big fans of the outdoors. If they are not, then I have no idea why they were doing this. It wouldn't make any sense. But since this does make sense, they were playing their usual game of who can get to dinner first. And they always freeze-frame while doing this and look into what I suppose is a camera. But there is never a camera there. If something doesn't make sense, it's that. And let's talk about what they make appear as their captions under their names. Seriously. Can you get ANY more egotistical than that? But they're both good people. I'll let it slide. Again.

In this photo: Amy, Justin

Oh man. I remember this. He totally tripped while running at superhuman speeds to beat Amy to dinner. This. This right here. This is EXACTLY why you are always told NOT to run with sharp objects. Look what happens. They get stuck in the pavement. The fact that this can even happen means Justin really knows how to shop. Can your fork and knife do this? No way. So for all of your utensil shopping needs, consult Justin "Awesome, my knife is in the pavement!" Tiemeyer. He's got you covered. But this isn't even the point. And yes, I have a point on its way. That's the whole point of memories anyway, isn't it? Well, don't run with sharp objects, because there is no way he ever got those out of the pavement. They're probably still there somewhere on I-96. And I guess you could lose a hand or an eye too. Too much screwing around...

In this photo: Justin, Amy

Amy: "So...whatcha planning on doing with that anvil?"
Justin: "..."


Amy: "I've never known you to have any interest in anvils."
Justin: "..."


Amy: "It would almost seem like you are trying to hide something from me."
Justin: "..."
He was. He was hiding some presents in the anvil. He didn't think she would be so suspicious. He still looks pretty normal to me. His cover is still perfectly intact.


Amy: "Why are you hiding presents from me?"
Justin: "..."
Crap...


And that's how Amy ruined AND killed Christmas all at the same time, simultaneously, in one fell swoop. Wait...no. No, that was a different time. And possibly a different person altogether. I don't even remember this.

In this photo: Adam, Justin, Amy

Unfortunately for Justin, white men CAN jump. He wasn't sure if he could do it, but he did. Amy and I were definitely impressed, even though we appear to be looking at something on the ground? I don't understand. Why, if someone had just jumped clean through solid rock with their head, would you not be looking at that? ... Oh, I remember now! It's pretty hard to stay cool after smashing through elevated earth crust like he did, so Justin tried to lessen the blow by telling a joke. He was like, "Hey Adam, I bet this nearly made you lose your head..." Amy thought it was in pretty bad taste. I personally thought it was hilarious. But it's a little difficult to not look at the ground when you're in my position.

In this photo: Adam, Justin, Amy

Knowing what to expect, Justin readied himself to jump again. And this time, we all decided to look as cool as we possibly could while it happened. Did we succeed? I don't know. Do trains live inside of mountains until a tunnel is painted on the outside to release them? Yup. Just look at those glasses. There is nothing keeping them on Justin's face except the rule of magnetism between two entities of awesome. And no scratches either. Amazing. This rule of magnetism applies to people as well. How else could Justin and Amy have found each other so easily? From this picture alone, I mean, memory alone, it is plain to see how well they gel together. Anyway, we were all looking pretty ice cold that day. What was I doing? Well, I wanted to look up and look cool at the same time, so I did a flip for the sole purpose of looking up. You can have your fancy necks. I flip to look up.

In this photo: Amy

Being so remarkably cooler than cool gets exhausting after awhile, so Amy decided to call it a night. Which in hindsight was weird, because it was still daytime. I guess it's always daytime here though. Interesting... So, on her walk home she noticed something peculiar on the ground. A bowl of seeds with a sign sticking out of it? Nah, there's nothing weird about this. She went to check it out. It read, "More free lovin." Ah, she thought, it must be from Justin! And it was. He was working earlier to get this gift ready for her as a surprise. She realized she couldn't wait until tomorrow and had to tell him immediately that she found it and how much she loved the subtle reference...

In this photo: Justin, The Power of Unwanted Biological Regeneration, Amy

Amy: "So, were you sowing something earlier today?"
Justin: "Whatever do you mean, my dear?"
He was doing his best to hide his growing smirk by keeping his face focused on his book.

It didn't work. His smile was wider than a size 1500-font capital "W".

She made his head spin so fast up from his book that it made his hair stand up on end and emulate the shape of a human hand. With nail polish. There are ways. You don't wanna know about it, believe me.

In this photo: Amy, Justin

Justin gets the craziest ideas sometimes. And that is why we all love him of course. But come on. How many times have his purchases from ACME worked as advertised? Actually, what advertising do they have? I have never seen an ACME infomercial before. Have you? What is their advertising budget? Do they have one? Obviously that crazy coyote on TV orders their products...wait. Whoa. Those cartoons...are the infomercials. Holy crap.

Amy: "Are you sure you know what you are doing?"
Justin: "I already philosophized the outcome and combined it with Prince and LOST. I can't lose."


Amy: "Even though your tail that you really shouldn't have is on fire?"
Justin: "Yes. That is all part of it. This is the best way to light the fuse."


Amy: "Did you read the manual?"
Justin: "There wasn't one. I philosophized my own, and I am following it exactly. This includes the glasses and hat."


Amy: "What hat?"
Justin: "It was too small, so I tied it around my head. I'll give you a head start, on my mark..."


Amy: "Ok. You be careful. And what mark?"
Justin: "Oh, you'll know."


Justin: "Ready...set...NIETZSCHE!!!!!"

In this photo: Justin, Amy

Well, Justin ended up being just fine, because he found his Delightfully (you can't see this since it is around the other side of the hat) Malevolent Times hat. And it turns out, the lack of said hat is the only reason the coyote runs into as many problems as he does. Remarkable. What a day it's been. And for you too. To have all the known properties of physics unabashedly bashed to bits must be unrelentingly entertaining. Now how did all this end?

Amy: "Where are we going?"
Justin: "We still need dinner right?"


Amy: "Absolutely. To your house?"
Justin: "Sounds marvelous."


Amy: "What are we having?"
Justin: "How about...cool beans?"


Amy: "Cool beans?"
Justin: "Yes. With Arnold."


Amy: "So like, Cool Beans." (said in classic Schwarzenegger fashion)
Justin: "Ha, yes. Cool Beans." (also said in classic Schwarzenegger fashion)

Justin: "Remember when I promised I would love you last?"
Amy: "That's right, Justin! You did!"


Justin: "...I lied..."

In this photo: Tom

(cue a theme that is both looney and also a little bit tuney)
Tom: "Th-Th-Th-Th-Th-That's all, folks! Serirousry. That's it. Look how seririrous I am. I scoff at the English language. That. Is. It. You know that one guy, Serial Sam? My favorite breakfast is Serial Sam Cereal with bits of real Serial, so you know it's good."

My Eight True Loves of the '00s

1. Zooey Deschanel

I first encountered Zooey Deschanel as the neurotic older sister Anita Miller in the 2000 film Almost Famous. I think I really fell in love with her though in Elf (2003), one of the only Will Ferrell comedies that doesn't annoy me more than it entertains me. What can I say? I'm a sucker for big, beautiful eyes.


2. Naomi Watts

If steamy lesbian scenes like the one between Naomi Watts and Laura Harring in Mulholland Drive (2001) were a requirement for my love, I can think of a whole lot of other women who would be on this list. But yet, only Naomi Watts made it. Why? Because she has one of the prettiest faces I've ever seen, she's a brilliant actress, and at the age of 42 she has proven that it is possible to age with grace and beauty.

3. Rachel McAdams

After The Notebook (2004), Rachel McAdams was that actress who you were pretty much required to love. If you'd been watching your popular movies, however, you would have seen her coming on the scene in the ridiculous Rob Schneider film The Hot Chick (2002) or in the surprisingly poignant film Mean Girls (2004). She may not have been taking roles as that girl you have to love yet, but she was certainly flexing her acting muscles in places where you wouldn't expect an actress to shine.

4. Scarlett Johansson

The first movie I remember seeing Scarlett Johansson in was either Eight Legged Freaks (2002) or Lost in Translation (2003), whichever one I watched first. The first time I saw her it was an accident, but every subsequent time was on purpose. I have since realized that I can be thoroughly entertained if I cater my movie watching to movies that Scarlett Johansson is in. I was even able to sit through He's Just Not That Into You several times, and inflict this movie like a Korean grudge film on those around me, simply because Johansson was in it. She's a great actress, and she's wonderful to look at.

5. Evangeline Lilly

While she wasn't the sole reason for my obsession with the television program LOST, Evangeline Lilly certainly added her share to this addiction. I am bowled over by the fact that she is so talented and yet this was her first significant acting role ever.


6. Kristen Bell

Kristen Bell is smart, sassy and she has a sense of humor. She's also beautiful. The thing that puts Bell above all the rest is the fact that she caters to her geek audience. On Veronica Mars, Bell commonly used the word "frack" instead of other forms of foul language as a shout out to the Battlestar Galactica fans. Furthermore, she was the lead female in the movie Fanboys (2008), which tells the story of a group of people who are really excited for Star Wars: Episode 1 - The Phantom Menace (1999). She's the kind of girl who you could go on a romantic date with and she'd probably want to play D&D with your friends the next day.


7. Felicia Day

Felicia Day is another champion of the geeks. I first saw her in the internet sensation Dr. Horrible's Sing-Along Blog (2008), only to find out that it was based on another internet sensation called The Guild that Day had been doing since the writer's strike in order to be productive instead of just playing World of Warcraft all day. She can sing. She can dance. She can write. She can direct. She can produce. She can create. She can act. She's understated and a natural beauty.

8. Alison Brie

The last addition to the list, but certainly not the least, Alison Brie caught my eye near the decline of the decade when the hit comedy program Community premiered in 2009. I found it interesting how she developed from a cute school girl to a sex icon during the first season. On interviews she's charming and flawless. She makes me excited for what this coming decade has in store.

Describing Television Shows I Enjoy As If I Do Not Enjoy Them 2

1. 30 Rock

Neither Saturday night nor live. Discuss.

2. Beavis and Butt-Head

Motivating good Christian children to become demon-worshiping arsonists since 1993.

3. LOST

You've seen Gilligan's Island, right? Throw in some nonsensical monsters and you get the gist.

4. The Ren & Stimpy Show

Quite possibly the reason people of our generation have deemed defecating on another person's chest an acceptable sexual act.

5. Saved by the Bell

The only difference between the teens deified in Saved by the Bell and the ones who made high school a living hell for you for four years is that Zack Morris breaks the fourth wall.

12 Television Programs From Which a Justin Tiemeyer Can Be Constructed

(In chronological order)

1. Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles

The one thing that I can think of that distinguishes me from the other Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles acolytes of my generation is that I have memorized much of the album that was released by the joint effort of Pizza Hut and TMNT. If I were to become a rock star, there's a good chance I'd start a set with the tune "Pizza Power," which goes something like this: "Growing up in a glass bowl / with chameleons, lizards and tadpoles. / It hardly enters your mind / that there's something better than this."

2. Saved by the Bell

It took me 20 years before I ever kissed a girl, but when it happened I already knew what do do from watching Saved by the Bell. I've even been called a good kisser by a couple of ladies. Don't thank me, ladies. Thank Saved by the Bell. Oh, and thank me.

3. Full House

I've rarely been more angry with my father than the night of the series finale of Full House. The television show that I'd watched for so long on TGIF was going to end amazingly, and I would never know, because my father was determined to pre-empt the most important day of my life by watching a memorial tribute to Michael Landon. This was back before the days of DVR or free streaming. It was long before you could buy television programs on VHS or DVD. If I was to watch this episode, I would have to wait until it came back around in syndication. I ended up forgiving my father, but I wonder how much that has to do with the fact that I eventually was able to watch the emotional finale.

4. X-Men: The Animated Series

Micah had a bird named Petey. We kept him in a cage in the living room. I used to call him Piotr after Piotr Nikolaivich Rasputin (Colossus) or sometimes Pietro after Pietro Maximoff (Quicksilver), both characters on X-Men: The Animated Series. I remember the day of Petey's death, mainly because I think the television program that gave me so many nicknames for the bird was also responsible for his demise. One Saturday morning, Micah and I were getting ready for watching one of the last five episodes of the series, but first we had to feed Petey. Micah had the door to the cage open and was pouring in the food when we heard the theme song to our favorite cartoon. I began to run to the living room, and so did Micah, but when Petey's cage door shut it did so with Petey's foot in the door. The bird went into shock from the pain and died almost immediately. Were he Piotr he could have surrounded his foot in organic steel. Were he Pietro he could have moved his foot quickly out of the way. But he was Petey, and Petey is no more.

5. The Ren & Stimpy Show

Fourth-graders in Michigan are required to take a writing test called the MEAP (Michigan Educational Assessment Program). I can't remember what made me feel better, the joy that my MEAP writing test received the highest possible grade, the elation that came from hearing my writing read to the class as an example of how you ought to write, or the hilarious satisfaction that all this recognition came from an essay about the fact that if I could spend a day with anyone it would be bathing in kitty litter with Ren and Stimpy from the popular (original) Nicktoon.

6. X-Files

This past Spring Break while you were in Key West or Cancun I was in Roswell, New Mexico with a couple of my friends. We were determined to investigate X-Files while we were there. I can recount the particular X-Files that we dealt with because of the documentation I kept:  

S01E01. Teyollocuani --- the mysterious "soul sucking" of nearby Lovington,  

S01E02. Stranded --- fields of poison gas just outside of town --- a vehicle actually pursued us during this X-File), 

S01E03. Monolith --- the strange UFO monument in someone's fields, 

S01E04. Eis Ton Aionas Ton Aionon --- Stephan's dream that we'd drink McDonalds shamrock shakes together,  

S01E05. Rumbles --- a strange occurrence whereby Adam showered in the evening and put the curtain on the inside of the tub and yet it was on the outside in the morning,  

S01E06. Siphon --- a haunted hot tub that sucks the life out of those inside it, and  

S01E07. Mirrors --- Stephan's missing pair of shoes.

7. FRIENDS

Immediate family was a different concept for us. According to most people's definition, it is the mother and the father and their children. According to my definition, it is the people you buy Christmas presents for every year: mom, dad, Micah, Smokey and Uncle Paul. There was a time when my immediate family got together once per week. It was Thursday night. Uncle Paul would come over and we'd eat pizza while watching FRIENDS. Micah now lives in North Carolina, I live in Texas, Smokey was put to sleep a couple years back, and FRIENDS completed its run long before that, but FRIENDS, in my memory, will always mark the golden age of my family.

8. Buffy the Vampire Slayer

I think I first watched this show with Justin Metz. He had an episode or two from the first season on a VHS tape and we watched them together. I remember watching the episode "The Pack" in which a group of popular students and Xander get possessed by hyena spirits and turn into dicks. If I had watched that episode for the first time today I would probably comment on the brilliant juxtaposition of the supernatural with normal high school problems, the amazing wit and sheer brilliance of the writing. But back then I was going through puberty. All I could think of was the cute girl. I think I spent most of the episode saying, "Yeah! Yeah! Sniff her!" in a terrible Beavis and Butthead voice. I feel the need to thank those hormonal surges, because Buffy has since proven to be one of the most rewarding stories I've ever encountered.

9. Dawson's Creek

Sure, Dawson's Creek was always melodramatic, but it was melodramatic in the same way that kids of that age would be melodramatic. Buffy the Vampire Slayer drew me to the WB, and the WB bombarded me with commercials about the upcoming drama Dawson's Creek. I had no choice but to watch. Dawson and gang were my age, encountering problems that kids my age faced. They were intelligent and childishly in love with one another. For me that was so real. Throw in that kid from The Mighty Ducks (Pacey, who even references his love for The Mighty Ducks in the first season) and one of the early loves of my life, a young Katie Holmes, and I have no shame to say it: I was in love with Dawson's Creek.


10. The O.C.

You didn't have to sell me on the O.C. Months before the first trailers for the O.C. came out I became a huge fan of the band Phantom Planet, featuring Jason Schwartzman on drums, and their amazing album The Guest, after hearing them open for Incubus in 2002. When the first trailer came out all I saw was beautiful, half-naked women and all I heard was the beautiful Phantom Planet song "California." When Becky and I tried to get out buddies Elliot and Brian to watch the OC with us, however, it was a hard sell. They were too cool for a teenage prime time soap opera. It only took a couple episodes before they were hooked. Brian, the most difficult to win over, was astounded at the end of some episodes, saying things like, "Guys, I don't know what's going to happen." After watching a season, the hecklers were turned to acolytes, so devoted to the show that they weathered the terrible second and third seasons, and the hit-or-miss fourth season. I'll admit that I cried during the series finale. I don't know if Brian or Elliot will admit the same.

11. LOST

I devoted six years of my mental capacity to the television program LOST. I don't mean that I just watched it. I lived in their universe, sometimes more often than I lived in my own, possibly as a way to cope with girl issues. My longest relationship was somewhere around a year long. The longest amount of time I was ever in college was three years. The longest I've ever worked anywhere is three years. As LOST approached its series finale I began seeing that it may have been standing in the way of my availability for a whole lot of things. I predicted that after LOST concluded I'd finally be able to enter into a serious adult relationship and write a novel. Within a week of the finale, the first came true. (BEST RELATIONSHIP EVER!) Looks like I'll be needing a little more time on the novel...

12. Community

I must have watched the scene where Annie (Alison Brie) sculpted a large phallic object in pottery class at least thirty times. I'm not even joking.

Justin Tiemeyer's Law of the Internet

In September I wrote a blog entry titled Chronologically LOST in which I linked my internet public to a web site of the same name and wrote a short introduction that explained my history with LOST and the need for such a site. While I certainly did not intend for this to be the focus of the entry, a lot of attention has been paid to one particular sentence:

There is a new kind of law since the advent of the internet that if you can think of something, it's already on the internet

A short while later I attended an ice cream party at my apartment complex. (Yes, my apartment complex has ice cream parties!) I think I had peach ice cream. That's not the point. One of my most brilliant graduate school friends, Arthur Stewart, commented on my post and referred specifically to the Justin Tiemeyer's Law of the Internet. "Woah," I said. "I didn't invent the law. I merely heard it from someone else." As we discussed the idea, however, it became obvious that this thing we had stumbled upon needed a name. Since I couldn't cite anyone prior to me as the originator of the concept, I, Justin Tiemeyer, became the earliest reference that anyone could remember.

In a strange circular way, however, the title Justin Tiemeyer's Law of the Internet was justified. If you doubt me, type the phrase "if you can think of something, it's already on the internet" (the quotes assure that you find the exact phrase instead of simply keywords) into Google. You will find two entries, the first being my initial assertion in the Chronologically LOST post and the second being a reference to my original post by my friend Josh Toulouse on his blog Retrospective Reflections. (Upon publication of this post, there will probably be at least three references to this phrase on Google, the third being the very post that you are reading.)

I imagined a presentation of LOST in chronological order as opposed to narrative order, and before I knew it I had access to that very presentation without any work on my part. Josh imagined a cross between a Minotaur and a Centaur called a Min-Centaur and was able to find pictures of such a creature with a simple Google search. Since I have decided to take ownership of this Law of the Internet I would like to convince you that it is true in all cases. Anything that you can imagine is already on the internet. Give it a shot yourself. You'll find that it's true.

I imagine that many of you scientists out there have already raised the question, "What happens if I imagine something and I am not able to find it on the internet? What happens to Justin Tiemeyer's Law of the Internet if a counter-example can be found?" I thought about this ahead of time. A counter-example to my law is simply impossible. You see, Christian Science sets a precedent, a ridiculous precedent of course, but a precedent that I intend to follow in maintaining my law. When you have a law, you can defend it however you want, but this one's mine and here's how I'm going to defend it. According to Christian Science, those who become ill will become well again through prayer and faith. If one does not become well through prayer and faith, there would seem to be a problem with Christian Science. Not so. Christian Science says that any such problem is a problem with you: You're not praying right. You don't have faith. You don't truly believe in God's power of healing. Similarly in the case of Justin Tiemeyer's Law of the Internet. If you cannot find what you're looking for the fault is with you. Perhaps you're not very good at expressing what you're imagining. Perhaps you just aren't using the best possible internet searching techniques. This can be summed up simply as, "Don't go messing with my law. If it doesn't seem to work it's user error on your part."

The internet contains all of the wondrous landscapes of the human mind. You just have to look in the right place to find them. If you're looking for lesbian sex scenes between Super Mario's Princess Peach and Princess Daisy, you won't have to look far. If you're looking for Wonder Woman she-male sex scenes, you won't have to look far. (Wait a minute! Most of these are porn. Is the internet all about porn?) The thoughts of the entire world are at your fingertips. How amazing and horrendous! Such are apt words to describe Justin Tiemeyer's Law of the Internet.

Chronologically LOST

A long time ago, I made the decision that once LOST was finished I would be able to have a normal relationship. You see, LOST had taken up so much of my consciousness for the six years that it was on air that it seemed impossible to be emotionally available to anyone else. There would always be LOST in the way. Within a couple of days of the series finale, like clockwork, I entered into the best relationship I've ever experienced.

I vowed from that day forward not to watch LOST again for at least another year, but I still think about the show here and there. Recently, I was thinking about taking clips from the show and arranging them in chronological order. But then I thought: What's the use? There is a new kind of law since the advent of the internet that if you can think of something, it's already on the internet. Sure enough, within a week I saw a link to this blog titled Chronologically LOST.

This web site presents lost as 101 videos, starting with our first image of the island in the distant past until our last faint glimpse of our characters. The flash-sideways reality is presented as an epilogue to the main story. Included in the series are all aired episodes and 14 mobisodes. Here are the first three videos:

Episode 001: The Beginning



Episode 002: 1867 to 1954



Episode 003: 1954 to 1972



Remind me to check this out next year. The entire series can be found here.

LOST 365: BELIEVE

You probably remember I already posted about the blog titled LOST 365. After 89 posts of original art concerning the hit television program LOST, Jared Stumpenhorst posted the first work of art that he feels 100% satisfied with. Here it is:

Prints of this image are available through Society6. Buy one here.

Top 5 Season Finales, Spring 2010

Ahem. Spoiler Alert.

5. 30 Rock

I'd like to say that this finale was great because Jack Donaghy finally chose one woman to love, or because that woman was pregnant, but I can't say that. This season finale was magnificent for two reasons: 1. Matt Damon was hilarious as the pilot named Carol, and 2. the finale suggests that we're going to see a lot more of Damon next season.

4. The Office

There's only one storyline that still interests me on The Office, and it is the remaining feelings between Michael Scott and Holly Flax. The fact that the season finale was easily the funniest episode of the entire season (a season that I was tired with almost from the beginning) was not enough to make it a good finale. The fact Holly might be brought back to the Scranton Branch of Dunder Mifflin as a thank you gift for a good deed - now that's something to get excited about.

3. Community

A brilliant ending to a brilliant first season. If you know anything about me, you know I rant about this show pretty much daily. I've never really encountered a better first season in any comedy program, and they ended the season true to form. They even planted clues to the Jeff and Annie romantic ending: 1. the debate team romantic encounters, 2. Annie dressing like a teacher, 3. Annie and Jeff walking together at the beginning of the episode. It was subtle and magnificent. When I saw this finale I thought nothing could top it this season. This just attests to how great the first and second best finales were.

2. House

How was I supposed to know that House was going to deliver the best episode in the entire series? Basically in this episode we see all of the ramifications of House's therapy and what it means to really care about people. It amounts to the greatest agony and the greatest joy on the planet, and both of these things were balanced magnificently in the finale. There was no particular moment that made this episode a shining star. Every scene was perfectly delivered. Bravo!

1. LOST

I know this is going to be a hard sell. There are so many people who simply hate LOST because of how annoying LOST fans are. And a great deal of people who have loved LOST from the beginning didn't get all of their questions answered and are doing a whole lot of pouting. LOST has always been about troubled characters and redemption. In the finale they resolved the stories of all of the characters and offered redemption to some of the most disturbed individuals. It was sweet and honestly, somewhat understated. It wasn't the ending we expected, but it was the right ending.

Unnecessary Censorship: LOST Edition

LOST Screen Time Pie Chart

As one of the LOST Elite, I want to give a disclaimer that this is not entirely accurate. But it's funny, and talks about creepy shots of Benjamin Linus, so I'll allow it.

LOST's Michael Emerson Makes Ordinary Phrases Sound Ominous

The J.J. Abrams Women

The upcoming J.J. Abrams television program Undercovers offers a strong likelihood to thrust formerly under-the-radar actress Gugu Mbatha-Raw into the limelight.

Mbatha-Raw, however, is just one in a long line of unknown actresses who gained a significant career boost by becoming a lead actress in an Abrams television program. Surely, you remember Keri Russell, who became renowned as TV's Felicity.

There's also the star of the hit spy drama ALIAS Jennifer Garner. I prefer when she doesn't pull her hair back.

Let's not forget LOST's Evangeline Lilly, who is arguably the best actress among these ladies. I say arguably because Keri Russell has really been showing her A game in the last several years.

Finally, Fringe's Anna Torv.