I think about a world to come where the books were found by the golden ones, written in pain, written in awe by a puzzled man who questioned, "What are we here for?" All the strangers came today and it looks as though they're here to stay.

-David Bowie "Oh! You Pretty Things"

Showing posts with label 90s. Show all posts
Showing posts with label 90s. Show all posts

Monday, December 13, 2010

Role Models, Part One


I was in middle school when reports came in of a child who burned down his family's barn. At face value, this doesn't seem like a story appropriate for national news. But this barn burning was political. It wasn't terrorism. It wasn't the Ku Klux Klan or Al-Qaeda. It wasn't even the Michigan Militia. This crime was much more insidious than all of that. It was committed be a child under the influence of cartoons.

The cartoon in question was Beavis and Butt-head. The story we were fed convinced us that since the teenagers on this show were depicted playing with matches and laughing while saying, "fire, fire, fire," children watching this show had no choice but to become arsonists. By this time in my life, I had already been on my fair share of campouts with my Boy Scout troop in which boys my age were expected to start camp fires. I only had to see two or three of my compatriots melt their windbreakers painfully to their skin only to run back and do it again before I realized that teenage boys have been obsessed with fire since time immemorial. Beavis and Butt-head didn't prescribe our delinquency. They reflected our delinquency.


However enlightened I may have been regarding human nature as a teenager, I was not free from the veritable witch hunt that followed in the 90s under the names of "censorship" and "political correctness." I remember that my brother and I were at a church youth group get-together after school and that we, accompanied by a kid we know named Jake, were trying to do our best impressions of the Beavis and Butt-head laughs. I know that I had never seen Beavis and Butt-head before. I think my brother saw it once or twice at his friend Pat's house. But everyone knew about Beavis and Butt-head back then, even if they had never once seen the show. It was part of the zeitgeist. It was a result of that same magic that granted me knowledge of songs by Backstreet Boys and Spice Girls. We always did impressions of cartoon characters. There was the Bart Simpson: "Don't have a cow, man," the Wolverine growl with the word, "bub" at the end, the Tick's ridiculous exclamations like, "Honk if you love justice!" We never got in trouble for those impressions, but if you were referencing Beavis and Butthead back then you could get in some serious trouble. I remember on this particular occasion I was reprimanded verbally and the guilt was laid on so heavily that I felt like I had just burned down my parents' house with both my parents still inside, and that I had done so with only the power of my words.

It was through the media hype and government focus on my childhood cartoons that I first encountered the discussion of the responsibility of public figures as role models for the children of America. It was also during this conflict that I felt some of my earliest stirrings of authority issues. I had a serious problem with some Senator or Representative telling my parents that I shouldn't watch my favorite television programs. I felt the earliest pangs of righteous indignation with the idea that someone might stand between me and my Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles.


A few years later in 1999, former Mickey Mouse Club child star Britney Spears got a record deal and released the album ...Baby One More Time. As Spears transformed from a girl into a woman she also transformed from the influence of Mickey to Madonna. She was dealing with her awakening sexuality just like any other girl, but unlike any other girl every moment of Spears ascent into adulthood was documented by either MTV, VH1 or the paparazzi. By the time Oops!... I Did It Again came out in 2000, Spears was defined by the lyric, "I'm not that innocent." (If it were up to me, I would define the girl by her overuse of the ellipsis in album titles, but it's not up to me.) Her interviews before this time usually centered around her sudden rise to fame and how grateful Spears was to those who helped her along the way, people like her mom or her friend Justin Timberlake and his band N'Sync. Now her interviews centered around the fact that she was acting as a bad role model for young girls and accusations flew that Britney Spears was responsible for over-sexualizing the day's youth.

I used to try to imagine what it would feel like to take Britney's place. Physiologically and emotionally she was changing into an adult, and sexuality is part of adulthood. (Why else would we put pornographic films in the adult film section?) She was also growing as an artist and doing whatever she could do to keep her dream of singing and dancing alive. In her place I think I would probably feel like there was nothing I could do right. I don't mean to say, "Leave Britney alone!" I'm not trying to excuse anything she's done in the public eye. I mean to say that even with all of the money and recognition Britney Spears racked up during this short period, I would prefer my overweight, zit-faced life with no money and no girlfriend to the life of Britney Spears, because at least I had the option to be myself without the media turning me into the scapegoat for a world full of sins.


Returning to the story of the boy who burned down the barn, I can say that I don't feel any connection with this boy. The two of us liked our cartoons and we liked our MTV, but this kid was known to the nation as the poster child of a poorly spent youth while I was emerging as an example of a well-raised son. I was a Boy Scout. I was engaged in community service. I stayed in school. I respected my parents and credited their teaching for any kindness anyone said to me. I went to college. I went to church. Most importantly, I was never caught burning down any buildings. I sometimes wondered if there weren't more similarities between me and the barn burner. To paraphrase the Joker in Batman: The Killing Joke, perhaps the difference between me and him was as insignificant as one bad day.

Maybe it's just the philosopher in me, but I cannot think about these events without stumbling into a difficult string of questions. Who are the role models that our children look up to? Who ought our children look up to? Who gets to make the choice? What is a role model? How ought a role model to act? How do we understand responsibility in light of the influence of role models in people's lives? How should we respond when we believe that role models are not acting properly? Should we respond at all? Should our government representatives intervene in these matters? What should they do? I know that if I am to listen to the testimony of someone pointing a finger and placing blame on cartoons and pop singers for the corruption of our youth, I'd like them to be able to answer all of these questions for me. I'd really like to be able to answer these questions for myself.

Role Models, Part One can be viewed here.

Thursday, December 2, 2010

Things '90s Kids Realize

There's a blog out there called Things 90s Kids Realize that speaks to a certain zeitgeist of the first full decade I ever experienced. (I was born almost three years too late to fully appreciate the 1980s, but if you have ever met me you'd probably never guess.) I suggest you check it out.

Below is just a snippet of what you'll find on this web site:








Saturday, October 16, 2010

My Nine True Loves of the '90s

1. Marie Fredriksson


My first contact with Marie Fredriksson was through her voice. And that was honestly enough. The Swedish female lead singer for Roxette is responsible for some of the best pop songs of the 90s. I was already in love when I saw the music video for "Joyride" (1991), but seeing her beautiful face and sexy figure was something of a re-affirmation. It must have been love. (But it's over now. My love for Marie Fredriksson expired when she started looking like she's old enough to be my mother. But I'll always have the 90s, right?)

2. Tiffani Amber-Thiessen


If you've read my blog before, you know that I have always been a fan of Saved by the Bell (1989-1993). Tiffani Amber-Thiessen might be the first woman I ever really fell in love with. Either her or April O'Neil. It's pretty decisive, however, that Thiessen was the first non-animated human being I ever fell in love with. I was like every other male I knew. I wanted to be Zack Morris, and I wanted Kelly Kapowski on my arm.

3. Lara Flynn Boyle


The short shelf life of actress Lara Flynn Boyle is one of the truly sad stories of Hollywood. There was only a short period of time between Boyle as a child and Boyle as a skeleton of a person, but within that short period of time is the entire series of Twin Peaks (1990-1991) and the film Wayne's World (1992). To paraphrase Joseph Conrad's Heart of Darkness, the vitality of Lara Flynn Boyle lived in the flicker, but it certainly has not lasted as long as the old earth keeps rolling.

4. Gillian Anderson


Gillian Anderson is the quintessential science fiction babe. You may love your Zoe Saldana or your Summer Glau or your Tricia Helfer, but if Mulder never had a Scully this world would be a very different place. Ever since X-Files (1993-2002, 2008), there have been plenty of beautiful women who realize that they can gain a great deal of success by appealing to nerds like us. You can love them all, but if you're anything like me, then one of your earliest sci-fi loves is certainly Gillian Anderson.

5. Jenny McCarthy


The first time I saw Jenny McCarthy was on MTV's Singled Out (1995-1997). She was that kind of girl who could be gross and still be sexy. I remember a spread of photos taken of Jenny McCarthy on a toilet, and it just seemed normal: a beautiful woman with a sense of humor. I see similar things today with actress Megan Fox, and my response is, "What are you thinking? You're gross, all right, but you skipped all the sexy." Megan Fox is no Jenny McCarthy. That's for sure.

6. Salma Hayek


I met Salma Hayek in the 1995 film Desperado, the same year I met her body double. She was beautiful and voluptuous and her accent sounded exotic, and for a boy of thirteen years who was writing letters to comic books about his emotional attachment to furry mutants she was everything you could ever want in a woman. Today she's one of the most attractive 40-somethings in Hollywood. I wonder if her body double can say the same...

7. Sarah Michelle Gellar


I was so head over heels in love with Sarah Michelle Gellar when I was a teenager. I had posters of her in my room. I watched every movie she ever put out, including Vanilla Fog, which totally sucked. I wrote her into my superhero movie Leaderman as "Sarah Michelle Gellar, TV's Buffy the Vampire Slayer," who would be played by whoever I could get to act in my movie with a bag over her head. Maybe this is normal for teenage girls, but it is disturbing to think that I was certain Gellar and I would end up together. But that ended up being Freddie Prinz Junior's lot.

8. Brooke Burke


For any kid whose parents couldn't afford or wouldn't allow Premium channels, Wild On (1997-2003) and the occasional late night Girls Gone Wild infomercials had a great deal of value. But Wild On's host Brooke Burke was more than softer than soft-core. She was adorable and charming. She had a perfect voice for a host of a television program. Where other women would have been holding their audiences by the crotch, Burke held us by our hearts. When she decided that she wanted to move on with her life, she helped the program to select another host, but after Brooke the appeal was gone. We learned that people didn't watch Wild On because of the interesting locations and parties, or even because of the beautiful half-naked people who came on air after your parents went to sleep. People watched Wild On for the lovely Brooke Burke.

9. Katie Holmes


Time line of my love affair with Katie Holmes: I first encountered Holmes while watching the pilot of Dawson's Creek on the WB in 1998. Later that year, she was the bad girl whose boob gets grabbed in Disturbing Behavior. In 2000 I see her topless in the movie The Gift. She and I are on-again (Dawson's Creek), off-again (Batman Begins) until 2005. That's when I lose her to Tom Cruise and she loses her sanity. It was good while it lasted.