A Good Name: Roland

There is something really wonderful about the name Roland. It just has this sound to it that is pleasing. It just rolls off your tongue. In fact, the name Roland sounds like the phrase "rolls off your tongue." That's how well it rolls off your tongue.

Where did the name Roland come from? Well, last year Amy and I saw Tears for Fears live on the other side of the state. They were fantastic. One of the best performances I have ever seen. They're perfectly happy with Everybody Loves a Happy Ending being their last album and they've been touring for it for seven years now. There are two members of Tears for Fears that you need to know, Curt Smith and Roland Orzabel.

Roland played confidently, and though he had long flowing hair, sang in falsetto and swayed like a female back-up singer in a Motown band, he overflowed with strength and masculinity. There was a kind of confidence in this guy, and for some reason that confidence is forever tied to the name Roland. Amy and I also happen to adore Stephen King, though she knows much more than I do, and possibly one of his most important characters, the one that is at the center of the Dark Tower series, which is at the center of King's entire corpus, is Roland Deschain, the gunslinger.

While Roland would be the perfect name for a child, I think it might also fit for a pet dog. And what kind of dog would look better beside a gunslinger than a really fantastic looking German shepherd. (I may have promoted this breed of dog before, and I apologize for repeating, but they're really awesome dogs. They look like they still have the chops of a wolf, after all.)

And finally, to complement Roland Orzabel's interest in his Spanish history as heard in such albums as Raoul and the Kings of Spain, Roland might be a good name for an animal that you'll find in many Spanish speaking countries in South and Central America, the beloved iguana.

A Good Name: Harvey

Relatively early in our relationship, Amy and I began thinking about names for hypothetical children that we might have. Amy is a fan of classic names, and I am a fan of names with interesting connections or possible meanings. The name Harvey was a fantastic intersection of these values.

Harvey is the first name of District Attorney Dent from Batman comic book fame, the heroic Gothamite whose personality split when a mob boss threw acid on one side of his face. In naming a child Harvey, we'd like to focus on the "white knight" Harvey Dent, but I have to say that I'm kind of excited to come home and, in my most terrifyingly gritty voice, shouting, "Where's Harvey?!?!"

Amy has been looking into the upcoming television program Game of Thrones a lot. It seems that the book series that it is based on features wolves, but wolves are really difficult to train for television so they're using Northern Inuit dogs instead. These things are beautiful animals, and I think a dog named Harvey would probably go over well with all concerned.

According to my mom, however, Harvey would be a great name if you were a rabbit. I assume that's a reference to something, but I just don't get it.

A Good Name: Avi

I heard the name Avi on a recent episode of Weeds, and it had a really nice ring to it. Short and simple, but somehow mysterious. It would seem that Avi is a Hebrew word for father, which makes it strange and paradoxical, because I would definitely consider using the name for a possible future son:

Some day, my little boy would say, "Hello, father," to which I would respond, with a dorky smirk on my face, "Hello, Avi." I'd try to play it cool and keep it to myself, but then I'd need to share my cleverness and say, "See, it's funny because your name means father," and he would say, "I know, dad. You've been saying the same thing for twelve years." I would mutter to myself, "Doesn't make it any less funny," before stomping away.

In the event that the mother of my child doesn't like the name Avi, there are always other alternatives. One such alternative would be to get an African grey parrot and name him Avi. We're all originally from Africa, after all, so the name would fit the bird perfectly.

Finally, I think a pygmy goat might benefit from such a name. The term scapegoat comes from the fact that people used to cast blame and sin upon a goat. When they rid themselves of the goat, they'd ritually rid themselves of blame and sin. And who gets more blame in a world of Freudian psychology than our fathers?