Arts and Crafts: Record Wall Clock

When I lived in New York City I coveted a clock that I found in a little shop that was made out of an old Elton John record. By the time I saved up the money, the clock had been sold. I was told that these record clocks are easy to make, but I just didn't know where to start.

While sorting through our slowly growing record collection, Amy and I were broken-hearted to find that two of our records had been warped, my 7" single of the Prince song "Alphabet St.," and Amy's David Bowie LP, sides C and D of David Live. With little money, time and effort, Amy converted "Alphabet St." into a wall clock, and I'm about to tell you how.

Step 1: Acquire a Cheap Wall Clock

Just about any cheap clock will do. We bought this particular model at Target for $3.99. We're basically looking to rip this apart and cannibalize the hands and the motor.

Step 2: Acquire a Record

This is the difficult part. The record has to be something you want on your wall, a Prince record, for example, in my case. But the record also has to be something that you're willing to part with from your collection, that you will never listen to again because of the modifications. For me, this was easy: "Alphabet St." was already partially warped and completely unplayable. For you, it might not be so simple. Check out local garage sales and $1 record bins. Give a proper funeral for the selected record.

Step 3: Scavenge Parts from Cheap Wall Clock

Using a pocket knife, screwdriver, or any other convenient tool, jimmy the casing off of the wall clock that you have purchased.

 

Remove the hands and the motor from the clock. Gently pull the hands off of the clock face. Once you have done this, the motor will be disengaged from the back.

Step 4: Cook Your Record

As I mentioned before, my Prince record was already partially warped, so in order to make it aesthetically pleasing as a clock it was necessary to fully warp the record. If the record that you choose is still in fair condition and this is not the aesthetic you're aiming for, feel free to skip this step.

Preheat the stove to 300 degrees. Place a layer of aluminum foil on a pan and place the record on top. Place the record-on-a-pan into the stove and cook for somewhere near two minutes. Check on the record every few seconds. You should see the record warping. If you keep the record in the oven for too long it will begin to melt, adhering to whatever you have placed it on (hence the layer of aluminum foil). After two minutes, peel the record off with a spatula. The record should be fairly pliable and warm by now. If it has not taken the desired shape just yet, feel free to manipulate it with your hands until it looks the way you would like. Let the record set for a couple minutes. It shouldn't take long, maybe three to five minutes from the moment it is removed from the oven.

Step 5: Adhere Clock Parts to Record

Remember how you removed the hands and motor from the scrapper clock that you bought for this project? Well, simply do the exact opposite, placing the hands on the side of the record that you wish to be seen and the motor on the opposite side. The motor can be affixed to the back of the record best with rubber cement or epoxy. We didn't have any of that, so Amy attached it using a glue stick and a bunch of scotch tape.

Step 6: Affix Record Wall Clock to Wall / Bask in its Glory

If your motor isn't covered in scotch tape (Amy...) then you should be able to set the time using the dial on the back of the clock. If, like me, you are prohibited from using the dial, simply spin the hands of the clock until the right time is shown. As for the wall mount, I strung together a couple twist-ties and wrapped them around the base of the motor and it has served us well. I even slammed my hands really hard into the wall that the clock is mounted on and turned the fan on, the two things that dismount most of my wall-mounted art and paraphernalia, and it is still holding. With a little ingenuity and some cheap supplies perhaps you can find a better mounting method. The point is that you've now got your awesome record wall clock on your wall and the only thing to do now is to sit directly across from it and watch your life tick away.

Arts and Crafts: Concert Ticket Refrigerator Magnets

A few months ago, I received some junk mail containing some propaganda packaged with a peel-off magnet. I think the assumption was that you would stick the magnet to the propaganda and put it on your refrigerator. I saw little value in the propaganda, but great value in the magnet. This was the product:

That Foreigner ticket I'd held onto long after it was scanned at the concert now had a purpose. It currently holds up my grocery and to-do lists. I am writing today to share with you the secret wisdom of the ages, so that you too can have a Foreigner (or other band/artist) concert ticket refrigerator magnet.

Step 1: Acquire Magnets (I always have to stop myself from saying, "Cut a hole in the box." Curse you, Timberlake! Curse you!)

I opened every single inane letter addressed either to me or to some misspelled version of me or to resident for several months and didn't find another magnetic backing that I could use, so I journeyed to Hobby Lobby with my good friend Gabe. You might be better off going to a smaller store, like Michael's, because Hobby Lobby is incredibly large (especially in Texas). The first difficulty with Hobby Lobby is that you are bombarded by novelty and holiday items when you walk in. You have to cut through these like one would a kudzu in order to find anything of worth. The second difficulty is that the aisles are not labeled. This particular store appeared to spend all it's money renting out the gigantic building and very little on staffing the gigantic building. Eventually, I found an employee who pointed me to the magnets. They were overpriced, but at least I had (unlike Bono) found what I was looking for.

Step 2: Acquire a Concert Ticket

For many of you, this could be the hardest part. I have particular difficulty finding affordable nearby concerts with artists good enough to grace my refrigerator forever. In some of my peer groups, I would imagine I am looked upon as something of a hipster. I don't particularly understand it, but then again, I like Arcade Fire and Bright Eyes. I dislike Screamo. I tell my metal-loving friends that they should be listening to Muse and The Mars Volta instead. I don't blatantly disregard indie music as worthless. Having this opinion of me, they might look upon my Foreigner magnet and sense irony. Here's where they're dead wrong. Foreigner is sweet.

And so is Tears for Fears. This is Adam Friedli's ticket from the recent Tears for Fears concert in Detroit. Adam was unable to go to this concert due to a serious injury in the family. Amy and I had our tickets torn, but there was one ticket left intact due to Adam's absence.

Step 3: Peel and Stick

Peel back the paper on the back of the magnet to reveal the adhesive side. I've always found this fascinating. One side sticks due to magnetic attraction, the other due to chemical adhesion. Two different ways, one result. Cohesion!

Now stick the magnet to the back of the concert ticket. In most cases, the magnet is going to be larger than the concert ticket by a minuscule amount. I chose to leave the slight overlap, as it is pretty insignificant. These magnets, however, are designed to be thin enough that you can cut them. If you want to trim it so it's smaller than the ticket, go right ahead. In order to align the magnet properly, I placed it on the table and then slowly lowered the ticket onto the adhesive side.

Step 4: Place Finished Magnet on Refrigerator

This beautiful new Tears for Fears refrigerator magnet won't be on my refrigerator for long. I hate to ruin the surprise, but this one is a gift for my good friend Adam Friedli. I'll be giving it to him when I visit College Station next week. It's not quite the same as remembering being on the floor looking up at one of the most underrated amazing music sensations of all time, but at least it can hold up his picture of his parents. Or that weird drawing I made of the topless redneck woman holding two 40s of Colt 45.