Aqua Teen Hunger Force

some customers may get their dicks ripped off

There was a particular episode of Aqua Teen Hunger Force (ATHF, for short) titled "Dummy Love" in which a ventriloquist doll sported a knife and repeated the word "kill" over and over again. But the puppet was less like the frightening Chucky doll from the Child's Play franchise and more like a pet dog or cat, perhaps even a Pokemon repeating only its name. Sometimes he sounded menacing ("Kill! Kill! Kill!), sometimes questioning ("Kill?"), sometimes he said kill like a kitten purring ("Kill kill kill kill"). A joke that could get old quickly if told by a friend at a bar kept Amy and I laughing non-stop for the entirety of the episode. The thing about ATHF is that this reaction is the norm, not the exception. ATHF is a postmodern, self-critical romping comedy, the first and last of its kind, and I am a strong supporter of it staying on air ad infinitum. That's old people talk for "forever."

Adam Friedli's Aqua Post-Adolescent Hunger for Local Cuisine Team Force

or: How I Gave Up on Finding a Better Title and Learned to Love the Ludicrosity

In this photo: Justin Tiemeyer, Adam Friedli, But maybe not, Matthew Lunn, I'll let you judge, Amy Bolan

ATHF Ignignokt Green Knit Cap

I'd wear this thing. Check out the description from the [adult swim] shop:

Tired of the endless need to express your derision to everyone who looks at your face? Relax, Ignignokt has got you covered. When you put on the Ignignokt cap, you're not only keeping your head warm, you're letting those around you know that you find them contemptible, even by moon standards. And you're doing it with a fashionable air of dismissive superiority. And isn't that what you want most from your hat?

Interested? Buy it here.