Five Guys Review

This is the video that the autotuned "Oh My Dayum" song was originally based on. In some ways this review of Five Guys Burgers and Fries is actually better than the song based on it. But then again, "Oh My Dayum" is forever. Check this one out. If you don't have an entirely new vocabulary after watching these two videos, I'll be surprised, YouTube!

The State of Black Comic Book Characters: Astonishing X-Men, Fury of Firestorm, Legion Lost

After the publication of the first installation of the "State of Black Comic Book Characters" series, Rodney and I received a tweet from a blogger named BWilliams who just happens to be a black writer and independently publishes a comic with a strong black lead called Lucius Hammer. He pointed us to a blog post of his in which he criticized DC's history with black superheroes. While we have some differing opinions of the treatment of certain superheroes by both DC and Marvel over the years - and this is an issue I'd like to address in future posts - we agree that DC should hire more black writers and artists.

Flash forward a couple of weeks (it has been a while since I've had time to write) and the world of comic books is completely eclipsed by the Twittersplosion of veteran comic book writer and artist Rob Liefeld. If you don't know Rob Liefeld, then you're probably not reading up on DC's New 52. If the new set of monthly comic produced by DC were a deck of cards, Rob Liefeld is the guy who is in charge of the diamonds. Not really, but he is writing a lot of books. Or at least he has been: Liefeld announced that he is quitting all of his titles and will be leaving DC comics shortly. He cited problems with his editors including "massive indecision," "last minute changes that alter everything" and "editor pissing contests" as the reason for his departure. Other industry rockstars like Gail Simone (formerly of Fury of Firestorm), Paul Cornell (formerly of Stormwatch) and John Rozum (formerly of Static Shock), have spoken of similar problems, and one can only wonder if the recent announcements of Grant Morrison, Ed Brubaker, and Judd Winnick leaving the big two come from similar problems with the industry.

My point is that many of these big shots are working on multiple comics for DC or Marvel, which means that there is going to be a giant talent vacuum. Already, Scott Snyder has shown that he's ready to put in the work. Although Liefeld had some choice words to say about the Batman scribe, it is hard to argue against the brilliance of this young talent. Maybe this is also a chance for DC and Marvel to pick up some new black writers and artists. They may have to work for publishers in dire need of a change in methodology and they may get pigeonholed doing comics with already established and poorly handled black superheroes, but they may also have the resilience to weather this and give black characters some better representation. Here's to hoping.

On that note, I'd like to begin our discussion of black characters the Astonishing X-Men, Fury of Firestorm: The Nuclear Men, and Legion Lost.

Oh My Dayum

Just in case you haven't had the pleasure of seeing this video yet.

The State of Black Comic Book Characters: Green Lantern Corps, Mister Terrific, Voodoo

About a month ago, I spoiled the fun of my good friend Rodney. He was unfortunate enough to be celebrating something that I had an issue with. As a good friend, I made sure to put a stop to it.

Rodney was excited at the return to the DC universe of black comic book character Black Lightning. I want to emphasize that he's black, because I wasn't sure that you would pick up on this fact by hearing only the character's name. As of October, Marc Andreyko will be writing a mini-series for DC Universe Presents revolving around the unlikely team-up of Black Lightning and Blue Devil.

"If Black Lightning is so important to DC," I spewed at my unsuspecting buddy, "then why does he need to share a title with someone else instead of getting his own story? And on that token, why is he only given a short run in DC Universe Presents as opposed to his own title?"

Rodney fired back that sharing the title doesn't necessarily mean that Black Lightning can't hold his own. Rather, he suggested, and I agreed, the combination of "Black and Blue" could lead to a really entertaining and endearing sort of supernatural buddy cop drama, starting with how apart these characters are and ending with what can be accomplished if they can put aside their differences. As a fan of Rush Hour and the quintessential Schwarzenegger comedy Red Heat, I thought I would give DC a chance to do Black Lightning right.

The second thing to come out of this discussion was a commitment between Rodney and I to write a series of blogs that serve as a State of the Union for black characters in comic books made by the two major publishers (and also Spawn, at Rodney's request, which I will not be able to comment on for lack of experience with the character).

Today, I want to talk about three DC comics that feature black main characters: Green Lantern Corps, Mister Terrific, and Voodoo. I think I should warn you that there is likely to be minor spoilers in these descriptions.

Fifteen Minutes: Thoughts on the Aurora Shooting

I may have even been reading a Batman digital comic on my iPhone when Amy first addressed the issue.

"The only people I know on Facebook who are talking about the shooting are my Arizona friends."

I don't think we even had a chance to talk about the massacre that took place at the midnight showing of The Dark Knight Rises in the Denver area suburb of Aurora until we were seeing the movie ourselves.

There were very few people in the theater. The three people who accompanied me thought to explain this phenomena as a fear reaction to what happened. Having worked in a movie theater for three years, I was leaning toward the fact that you're not likely to pack a theater on a Wednesday evening in the middle of summer.

In the end, I think it's unclear. Do you, the reader, think that the shooting effected The Dark Knight Rises crowds negatively (fear reaction) or positively (a la Heath Ledger's death)?

We discussed some of the salient facts of the assailant James Holmes' story.

Some reported that his outfit - a gas mask and camouflage clothing - was reminiscent of the film's antagonist Bane. There were people in the theater who thought his appearance was part of the show. When I saw The Dark Knight in IMAX, a theater employee dressed as the Joker walked in, did his best impression, and asked us to kindly move toward the middle of our rows so others could find seats. Oh, and "Why so serious?" Back then, nobody would have thought to question the intentions of such a costumed individual.

I'd overheard that Holmes had begun calling himself The Joker, and this is why he appeared in court with his hair dyed. He had looked distant and unconcerned, making most of America wonder if he's a sociopath, plain and simple, with Dexter monologues repeating over and over in his head to tell him how to interact with the emotionally available. What intrigued our friend Garret and myself the most was that Holmes was apparently a Ph.D. student in neuroscience. Garret mentioned that he was studying brain pathology, which made us wonder aloud if everything that happened was some experiment meant to be explained in a Ph.D. dissertation.

As the opening credits began to roll, I leaned over and whispered: "They say it happened during a shoot-out fifteen minutes into the movie."

Fifteen minutes.

As it turns out, I was so captivated by The Dark Knight Rises that I wasn't thinking about whether or not a killer would enter our theater when the fifteen-minute mark rolled around. I guess I have something in common with the people in the Aurora theater. Amy later pointed it out that the fifteen minute mark probably would have corresponded with a shoot-out involving Selina Kyle and Bane's crew in a pub. But by that point it was clear that we had escaped the terrible fate that would have come down were a detail-oriented copycat to target that Grand Rapids theater.

I will admit that later on I had a moment of terror. Seemingly beyond my control, I found my gaze shifting slowly to the left, from the screen to a bright EXIT sign aside the screen. That's where he would have entered the theater, I thought. But my mind drifted further. If I were a copycat, I'd come in the same way other movie-goers come in. I'd use the element of surprise. At that moment, a man stepped into the theater and it looked like he was staring directly at me. There was no way he could have seen me in the dark auditorium, but I was frightened nonetheless.

I imagine that I am not the only impressionable viewer who felt that kind of fear at some point watching The Dark Knight Rises. Maybe my crew was right to predict empty theaters and plummeting box office sales. Prior to this man entering the theater, I had taken my own bathroom break, and I had potentially re-entered the theater to the dismay of one of my fellow viewers.

I sit safely in front of a computer in a duplex in Lowell, pondering the repercussions of James Holmes on our world. As I type my first draft of this post, it occurs to me that James Holmes himself might be doing the same thing from some prison cell somewhere in the Denver metropolitan area.

Guano (Huge Bat-Related Crap)

I open up the Facebook application on my iPhone. It takes a really long time and I'm still not completely certain all of my notifications have loaded properly. As I read the updated status of a certain "Optimistic" friend from my favorites list, it feels as if something is caught in my throat. He writes, "Geeeesh. I just ignored a spoiler warning and spoiled one of the biggest shockers in pop culture history. Dang me." I become frightened, wondering if I might stumble upon this same tidbit in much the same way while hoping that this friend is not doomed to eternal dangnation for his transgression. Shortly thereafter I receive a group text from a similarly named individual with a simple warning: "Warning: Stay away from ALL comic-related web sites and beware spoiler warnings. HUGE bat-related crap just went down today. I recommend getting caught up on the Batman title." (Editor's note: While I have edited these quotes for capitalization, punctuation, and a few other things, I have left the original phrase "bat-related crap" intact despite the word "guano" being a much better fit.)

Nary a "comic-related web site" have I visited since these grave warnings on Wednesday (comic book day), June 13, 2012, despite having caught up on "the Batman title" in question. I now understand what "Optimistic" (for your ease, just consider this analogy - "Optimistic" is to Justin Tiemeyer, the publisher of Cavemen Go as "Deep Throat" is to Bob Woodward, Carl Bernstein and the American public) was referring to when he spoke of "one of the biggest shockers in pop culture history," and because I don't want anyone else to tread the obsidian path of doom that my friend recently walked I'm going to warn you now not to read this post if you don't want the great Bat-secret spoiled for you as well.

Community Project: Dreams Come True

It's been a little while since I've posted anything of value. In October, my computer crashed, and I used that opportunity to get away from blogging every day. The spark had left my posts, I felt, and maybe some time away would free me from the chains I had placed on myself: publish or perish, publish or perish, publish or perish. In December I devoted myself to frantically completing my Arnold 365 on YouTube and posting those videos on Cavemen Go. I now have two copyright violation strikes against my YouTube account. If I don't remove everything that violates someone's copyright, the third strike will spell the end of my YouTube account which has a few originals that I'm proud of with a lot of hits. At the beginning of 2012, I thought I'd write more meaningful pieces. I wanted to care about what I was writing. I wanted my people to care about what I was writing about. And I wanted publishers to care about what I was writing about. But I didn't, which makes it impossible for anyone else to care.

I've spent about half of a year away from this blog, and it may continue on and off until I can get back on my feet completely. Inspired by blogs like Chad and Rodney's Political Jesus and Kristin's As Luck Would Have It, I've had my eye on ways that I can involve the community with this blog. I'm not quite ready to give up control and have guest bloggers, though I imagine that might happen in the future, but I am ready to engage the community through a series of community projects. Who wants to hear what I have to say as if I'm some sort of expert of taste, anyways? I've tried to wear that hat, and it is just full of way too much hubris. The voice that speaks as if it is the most knowledgeable is not a voice I care to listen to. I want my posts to be part of a conversation. Rather than Justin Tiemeyer as Cavemen Go, I want to be Justin Tiemeyer, part of the Cavemen Go community. And this is why I have decided to begin a series of community projects.

The first community project is titled, "Dreams Come True." The first thing my mind jumps to when I hear that title is Martin Luther King, Jr.'s famous "I Have a Dream" speech, followed by some similar rhetoric that has been used by the Obama administration. I don't imagine that King's speech was actually based on an actual dream that he awoke from in a sweat, however. I imagine that he worked long hours, awake the entire time, in order to understand what needed to happen to the United States of America, to author a speech that would engage its populace, and to outline a practical guide to making this happen. A dream is both an intentional action that embodies hope and the future and an accidental event that happens while one is sleeping. I think that the "Dreams Come True" community project will embody both of these.

STEP ONE: MAKE MY DREAM COME TRUE

I had a dream the other night that my girlfriend and I visited our friends in New York City. When we were packing up to leave NYC and return to Grand Rapids I found three drawings done by my good friend Elliot Mayo of the blog Elliot Mayo among my personal items. He had apparently drawn them for me and ripped them from his sketchbook so that I could take them with me.

The first was Batman's iconic flying vehicle, the Batwing, not to be confused with the African superhero of the same name.

The second was Elliot's interpretation of the cover of the cover of Frank Miller's The Dark Knight Strikes Again #1.

The third drawing was just a funny doodle, something an artist in high school might draw in a yearbook in order to prevent saying something like, "Have a great summer."

How can you make this dream come true for me? Well, if you're not artistic, I suggest going over to Elliot's blog and petitioning him to do some sketches for the "Dreams Come True" community project. If you are artistic, then by all means send me your version of these three drawings. Put your own flair on the generic descriptions and send me some pictures for the blog at cavemengoblog@gmail.com, the official e-mail of Cavemen Go. I'll be sure to feature your pictures on the blog, and maybe I can even do a feature on you some time.

STEP TWO: MAKE YOUR DREAM COME TRUE

Tell me a little about your dreams. You can leave these little tidbits either in the comments section of this post or in the blog's inbox at cavemengoblog@gmail.com. I just have a couple of qualifications. First, I would prefer if the dreams you speak of are actual dreams. You may note that Martin Luther King, Jr.'s "dream" wouldn't fit this description and that it was more than worthy of making real, and I'll agree, but that's not exactly the aim of this project. Second, I would prefer that the dreams occurred recently. Sometimes if you had a dream a long time ago you can add a whole lot of extra rational stuff to it when it was naturally kind of irrational. I want this project to capture the beauty of the irrational and unexpected nature of dreaming. And finally, I would prefer that the dreams you had seem like something that could happen in real life. We want to make those dreams come true, after all.

Ready. Set. Go.