CAVEMEN GO

Arnold 365, Day 370 (Junior)

2012-02-01T09:10:00.000-06:00

Banner by Adam Friedli.

Moonrise Kingdom Trailer

2012-01-14T12:32:00.002-06:00

Mine Trailer

2012-01-14T10:05:00.000-06:00

I have rarely seen a feature-length documentary that had more than thirty minutes of interest to it, so, in general, I don't like documentaries. But this one looks pretty cool.

Beginners (2010)

2012-01-11T13:00:00.011-06:00

Written and directed by Mark Mills, with outstanding performances by Ewan McGregor, Christopher Plummer, and Melanie Laurent, the 2010 film Beginners has been called Blogworthy by Cavemen Go author Justin Tiemeyer. The following is an essay inspired by the film.

In the 2010 film Beginners, Oliver Fields (Ewan McGregor) inherits a Jack Russel terrier named Arthur (Cosmo) and, rather than simply ignoring the dog half of the time like most people would do, Oliver decides to recount to the needy dog the story of his life in detail. One finds oneself asking: Does Oliver simply begin waxing about the tragedies and joys of his existence to anyone who will listen? Has he told the same story to his ear, nose and throat doctor or the woman who feeds the pigeons at the park? Yet there is a kind of sincerity and urgency that tells the audience that Oliver is going out on a limb here, recounting his story for the first and potentially last time, that this is a necessary exercise for the sake of his mental health.

In summary, contrary to public opinion, it is for the sake of mental health that Oliver Fields tells long and intricate stories to his dog.

I'm sure that nobody reading this article is a stranger to the idea of talking with dogs. My mind drifts effortlessly to the 1996 Bush's baked beans commercial in which Jay Bush addresses the public need to know "what makes Bush's baked beans taste so darned good." After addressing what ingredients some think bring about such a delectable taste, Jay explains that "the real reason... is the Bush secret family recipe" which he's only ever shared with his dog. And he's not talking. A moment later, Jay's dog turns his head and enunciates the words, "Roll that beautiful bean footage," to the frightened "Uh oh" of his master.

Consider also the case of David Richard Berkowitz in the late 1970s. For several years, Berkowitz had harmless conversations with his neighbor's dog. Of course, Berkowitz is not as benign as I have just made him out to be. Beginning in July 1976, Berkowitz went on a killing spree in New York City shooting young women with a .44 Caliber Charter Arms Bulldog revolver and the media called him the Son of Sam. Berkowitz claimed that the neighbor's dog was given the power to speak as a result of it being possessed by a demon. And with the gift of elocution, the dog demanded the blood of young pretty girls. Berkowitz, who claimed to be a victim of the demonic dog's influence, also claimed that he once attempted to kill this satanic canine but was stopped by supernatural forces. Berkowitz claimed that there were others like him out there. And therein lies further reason for Jay Bush to say "uh oh" when his beloved confidant and "best friend" first spoke.

While researching for this article, I also stumbled upon (though not using StumbleUpon) a message board at a community pet web site called Dogster titled, "Are there any good talking dog movies out there?" I assume that this is a common question in dog-owner circles, and I also assume that the common answer is an exclamatory negative. But the web site listed several films: Babe (whose main character is actually a pig, but the film does feature several talking dogs), The Incredible Journey, Cats and Dogs, Good Boy, the Air Bud films and Benji (although I seem to remember that Benji was simple narration, not dog-speak...), Milo and Otis, a few William Wegman movies featuring his weimaraners, 101 Dalmatians, Lady and the Tramp, Lady and the Tramp 2: Scamp's Adventure and Fluke. And this was just on the first of three pages.

I can't attribute my love for the film Beginners to the presence of a talking dog, because Arthur didn't talk. And I can't claim that the film was great because Arthur reminded me of the dog on Frasier. The most insightful fact I gleaned from Beginners is the fact that you can be honest with a dog in ways that you can't be with anyone else.

Most people I know have watched enough movies and sat through enough hours of television drama to know that there is a certain chain of honesty. When you are going through some sort of trouble and need to reveal some vital truth to somebody, there is a natural progression of people that you confide in, and as you progress from first to last you progress also from artifice to honesty.

CHAIN OF HONESTY

1. Friends and family
2. Psychiatrist
3. Priest/Rabbi/Religious Expert
4. Stranger/Black Woman/Celebrity/Gay Man (Deus Ex Machina)
5. Self

When one confides in ones friends and family, it is always done with a shield raised. This is because facts are like an epidemic with those who are close to you. When your mother is bored and on the telephone with your aunt, these are the things they discuss in order to pass the time. What you said to your best friend, he shares with his girlfriend at the end of the day and they decide which of your actions are foolish and which are noble. And on a rare occasion, your second cousin twice-removed decides that she needs to intervene on your behalf and steer you away from some imagined evil. When you share your feelings with one beloved friend or family member, you share them with the entire community, and after the advent of the Internet, said community has grown intolerably large.

Therapists and religious leaders have a responsibility to keep your secrets. Perhaps they discuss how ridiculous you seem, but only with colleagues who will never meet you and have only an academic interest in your case and only in vague terms. When a priest calls another priest to discuss the woes of a sinner, you can be assured, at least to some degree, that your name, address, social security number and driver's license number will not be the topic of conversation. This allows you to lower the shield a little bit. But you're always ready to raise the shield, and there are a couple of good reasons to do so. If you are deemed a threat to yourself or others according to the whims of your psychiatrist or rabbi's opinion, then they are duty-bound to report you to the local authorities. And I'm not talking about mental or spiritual authorities (that's the second phone call...). I'm talking about people with guns and handcuffs and broken prison systems. But even if your actions aren't quite so drastic as the Son of Sam, therapists and religious leaders are the individuals who prescribe the tools for defeating your problems, so any revelation that comes about is merely a means of pointing you toward Wellbutrin, lithium, hail Marys or some sort of act of contrition.

Strangers on the edge of society (who, in the ancient poems, are almost always gods) don't seem to have any of these powers over you. Psychologically, they are little more than an extension of yourself. The consequences of announcing something to an utter stranger are mostly the same as announcing it to yourself. There's judgment, but it's judgment that you're well-practiced at blocking out. And it's relieving, so you can dump more and more of it from yourself. You can feel the weight on your shoulders simply disappear. Of course, this is only temporary. Because you purged more information than you would normally feel comfortable purging, your ego begins to feel damaged - and rightly so: your ego is built on a firm ground of lies, sustaining lies, some might say. And you're left with two options: Make a big change and stick with it, or drown out your conscience with drugs, alcohol, Call of Duty, Law and Order or something similar. Despite their boldest dreams, nobody ever chooses "big change."

Isn't the same true for telling your life story to a dog?

In the words of a famous Scandinavian god who has, of late, become popular in the theaters: "I say thee nay."

When Oliver Fields tells his life story to a dog named Arthur, something magical seems to happen. Rather than holding himself accountable and requiring some sort of correction, Oliver finds himself organizing his thoughts regarding the confusing data of a Jewish mother, a gay father, and a really weird childhood. It seems possible that Oliver has bamboozled his own ego, bypassing it by abstraction. The story he tells the dog seems far too literary and interesting to be a confession, its progression both logical and organic. But I think that the one thing that is different between Oliver's biography as recounted to the dog Arthur and any of these other memoirs is that fear never gets a chance to creep in. Unlike Jay Bush, Oliver has no fear that Arthur will get on his gossip call list and recount what he has heard. Unlike the demon dog, the therapist, the priest and the rabbi, Arthur cannot tell Oliver what to do. In a strange way, I think Oliver becomes the dog and experiences his own life as a novel or daytime drama. He is able to glean understanding, to cry when such feelings are required and to laugh at other times, and all because his own life story is held at a distance and he's allowed to see himself as foreign.

It is said that pet owners actually live longer than other individuals. I don't know exactly why that is true, but it seems like the statistics support this conclusion. Many of us have heard the stories of dogs and cats saving their human counterparts from fires, home invasion, and accidents in the house either by intervening or getting help Lassie style (if only Lassie knew how to talk - imagine how much better the world would be; she was the Mother Theresa/Superman of dogs). Of course, it is much more likely that pet owners live longer because they never feel alone, because they always have a purpose, and, according to my own personal theory, because pets and owners groom one another in much the same way that apes groom fellow apes, which is proven to increase life span.

Maybe during those long hours where there is only a man and his cat or a woman and her dog or a hermaphrodite and his/her cat-dog (Was that disrespectful? I was aiming at "cute.") people tell their stories to their pets and they achieve a type of catharsis that they've never encountered before. I know that in my darkest times as a child I would confide in my brother's cat Smokey. I would feel sorrow welling up inside of me and before a tear could roll from my eye, the cat would be right beside me. As I've gotten older and experienced the phantom feeling of the cat jumping onto my bed in the middle of the night - Smokey passed on a few years ago after twenty years of life - I have begun to wonder if the cat was some sort of supernatural guardian or angel, a being of great power who lowered himself in order to guide me through my life. I want to believe, but in the end I think that our pets simply give us something that we can't explain. And because we can't explain it, we either dismiss it or we ponder the impossible.

In conclusion, I feel that I must apologize for this article. I feel like I really gave it my best, but I can't help but to feel that were it dictated to a very thoughtful dog it would have been much better. Maybe if a major publication decides to pick up an edited version of this article, they'll provide me with a canine secretary. Until then, enjoy this half-truth.

Arnold 365, Day 369 (True Lies)

2012-01-07T11:11:00.002-06:00

Banner by Adam Friedli.

Arnold 365, Day 368 (True Lies)

2012-01-05T10:21:00.001-06:00

Banner by Adam Friedli.

Arnold 365, Day 367 (Last Action Hero)

2012-01-04T10:08:00.000-06:00

Banner by Adam Friedli.

Aerosmith "Chip Away the Stone"

2012-01-03T11:11:00.000-06:00

Aerosmith, "Chip Away the Stone" from Live! Bootleg (1978: Columbia)

Arnold 365, Day 366 (Kindergarten Cop)

2012-01-03T09:31:00.000-06:00

Banner by Adam Friedli.

Arnold 365, Day 365 (Terminator 2: Judgment Day)

2011-12-31T08:55:00.001-06:00

Banner by Adam Friedli.

Arnold 365, Day 364 (Kindergarten Cop)

2011-12-30T10:08:00.000-06:00

Banner by Adam Friedli.

Arnold 365, Day 363 (Last Action Hero)

2011-12-29T15:28:00.000-06:00

Banner by Adam Friedli.

Arnold 365, Day 362 (Last Action Hero)

2011-12-29T15:07:00.002-06:00

Banner by Adam Friedli.

Arnold 365, Day 361 (Last Action Hero)

2011-12-28T14:44:00.001-06:00

Banner by Adam Friedli.

Arnold 365, Day 360 (True Lies)

2011-12-27T14:31:00.002-06:00

Banner by Adam Friedli.

Arnold 365, Day 359 (Last Action Hero)

2011-12-26T14:09:00.002-06:00

Banner by Adam Friedli.

Arnold 365, Day 358 (True Lies)

2011-12-25T13:28:00.000-06:00

Banner by Adam Friedli.

Arnold 365, Day 357 (Last Action Hero)

2011-12-24T13:11:00.003-06:00

Banner by Adam Friedli.

Arnold 365, Day 356 (Last Action Hero)

2011-12-23T12:53:00.001-06:00

Banner by Adam Friedli.

Arnold 365, Day 355 (Last Action Hero)

2011-12-22T12:11:00.001-06:00

Banner by Adam Friedli.

Arnold 365, Day 354 (True Lies)

2011-12-21T11:56:00.000-06:00

Banner by Adam Friedli.

Arnold 365, Day 353 (True Lies)

2011-12-20T11:41:00.001-06:00

Banner by Adam Friedli.

Arnold 365, Day 352 (Last Action Hero)

2011-12-19T11:22:00.001-06:00

Banner by Adam Friedli.

Arnold 365, Day 351 (Last Action Hero)

2011-12-18T10:38:00.001-06:00

Banner by Adam Friedli.

Arnold 365, Day 350 (True Lies)

2011-12-16T09:51:00.001-06:00

Banner by Adam Friedli.

Arnold 365, Day 349 (True Lies)

2011-12-15T09:30:00.002-06:00

Banner by Adam Friedli.

Arnold 365, Day 348 (True Lies)

2011-12-14T09:05:00.001-06:00

Banner by Adam Friedli.

Arnold 365, Day 347 (True Lies)

2011-12-13T08:15:00.000-06:00

Banner by Adam Friedli.

Arnold 365, Day 346 (Terminator 2: Judgment Day)

2011-12-12T13:50:00.000-06:00

Banner by Adam Friedli.

Arnold 365, Day 345 (Last Action Hero)

2011-12-11T13:31:00.001-06:00

Banner by Adam Friedli.

Arnold 365, Day 344 (Last Action Hero)

2011-12-10T13:19:00.004-06:00

Banner by Adam Friedli.

Arnold 365, Day 343 (Last Action Hero)

2011-12-09T13:01:00.001-06:00

Banner by Adam Friedli.

Arnold 365, Day 342 (Total Recall)

2011-12-08T12:58:00.000-06:00

Banner by Adam Friedli.

Arnold 365, Day 341 (Last Action Hero)

2011-12-07T12:29:00.002-06:00

Banner by Adam Friedli.

Arnold 365, Day 340 (Kindergarten Cop)

2011-12-06T12:09:00.003-06:00

Banner by Adam Friedli.

Arnold 365, Day 339 (Last Action Hero)

2011-12-05T11:58:00.002-06:00

Banner by Adam Friedli.

Arnold 365, Day 338 (Total Recall)

2011-12-04T11:36:00.001-06:00

Banner by Adam Friedli.

Arnold 365, Day 337 (True Lies)

2011-12-03T11:18:00.001-06:00

Banner by Adam Friedli.

Arnold 365, Day 336 (Total Recall)

2011-12-02T11:01:00.002-06:00

Banner by Adam Friedli.

Arnold 365, Day 335 (Terminator 2: Judgment Day)

2011-12-01T10:54:00.000-06:00

Banner by Adam Friedli.

Arnold 365, Day 334 (Terminator 2: Judgment Day)

2011-11-30T10:30:00.002-06:00

Banner by Adam Friedli.

Arnold 365, Day 333 (Terminator 2: Judgment Day)

2011-11-29T10:04:00.002-06:00

Banner by Adam Friedli.

Arnold 365, Day 332 (True Lies)

2011-11-28T13:59:00.003-06:00

Banner by Adam Friedli.

Arnold 365, Day 331 (Last Action Hero)

2011-11-27T13:39:00.001-06:00

Banner by Adam Friedli.

Arnold 365, Day 330 (Last Action Hero)

2011-11-26T13:22:00.001-06:00

Banner by Adam Friedli.

Arnold 365, Day 329 (Last Action Hero)

2011-11-25T13:07:00.001-06:00

Banner by Adam Friedli.

Arnold 365, Day 328 (Last Action Hero)

2011-11-24T12:52:00.001-06:00

Banner by Adam Friedli.

Arnold 365, Day 327 (Total Recall)

2011-11-23T12:40:00.002-06:00

Banner by Adam Friedli.

Arnold 365, Day 326 (Last Action Hero)

2011-11-22T12:13:00.001-06:00

Banner by Adam Friedli.

Arnold 365, Day 325 (True Lies)

2011-11-21T11:59:00.003-06:00

Banner by Adam Friedli.

Arnold 365, Day 324 (Last Action Hero)

2011-11-20T11:39:00.000-06:00

Banner by Adam Friedli.

Arnold 365, Day 323 (Kindergarten Cop)

2011-11-19T11:22:00.000-06:00

Banner by Adam Friedli.

Arnold 365, Day 322 (Total Recall)

2011-11-18T11:03:00.001-06:00

Banner by Adam Friedli.

Arnold 365, Day 321 (Last Action Hero)

2011-11-17T10:36:00.001-06:00

Banner by Adam Friedli.

Arnold 365, Day 320 (Last Action Hero)

2011-11-16T10:14:00.000-06:00

Banner by Adam Friedli.

Arnold 365, Day 319 (Last Action Hero)

2011-11-15T09:54:00.001-06:00

Banner by Adam Friedli.

Arnold 365, Day 318 (True Lies)

2011-11-14T09:42:00.002-06:00

Banner by Adam Friedli.

Arnold 365, Day 317 (Last Action Hero)

2011-11-13T09:23:00.001-06:00

Banner by Adam Friedli.

Arnold 365, Day 316 (Terminator 2: Judgment Day)

2011-11-12T09:05:00.002-06:00

Banner by Adam Friedli.

Arnold 365, Day 315 (True Lies)

2011-11-11T08:40:00.001-06:00

Banner by Adam Friedli.

Arnold 365, Day 314 (Last Action Hero)

2011-11-10T08:22:00.001-06:00

Banner by Adam Friedli.

Arnold 365, Day 313 (Last Action Hero)

2011-11-09T07:49:00.001-06:00

Banner by Adam Friedli.

Arnold 365, Day 312 (True Lies)

2011-11-08T07:30:00.002-06:00

Banner by Adam Friedli.

Arnold 365, Day 311 (Kindergarten Cop)

2011-11-07T07:14:00.001-06:00

Banner by Adam Friedli.

Arnold 365, Day 310 (Last Action Hero)

2011-11-06T06:44:00.002-06:00

Banner by Adam Friedli.

Arnold 365, Day 309 (Last Action Hero)

2011-11-05T06:21:00.000-05:00

Banner by Adam Friedli.

Arnold 365, Day 308 (Last Action Hero)

2011-11-04T06:03:00.001-05:00

Banner by Adam Friedli.

Arnold 365, Day 307 (Terminator 2: Judgment Day)

2011-11-03T12:40:00.002-05:00

Banner by Adam Friedli.

Arnold 365, Day 306 (True Lies)

2011-11-02T10:52:00.001-05:00

Banner by Adam Friedli.

Arnold 365, Day 305 (Last Action Hero)

2011-11-01T10:36:00.001-05:00

Banner by Adam Friedli.

Arnold 365, Day 304 (True Lies)

2011-10-31T10:05:00.002-05:00

Banner by Adam Friedli.

Arnold 365, Day 303 (Last Action Hero)

2011-10-30T09:37:00.001-05:00

Banner by Adam Friedli.

Arnold 365, Day 302 (Last Action Hero)

2011-10-29T08:34:00.003-05:00

Banner by Adam Friedli.

Arnold 365, Day 301 (Last Action Hero)

2011-10-28T11:43:00.000-05:00

Banner by Adam Friedli.

Arnold 365, Day 300 (Last Action Hero)

2011-10-27T11:27:00.000-05:00

Banner by Adam Friedli.

Arnold 365, Day 299 (Last Action Hero)

2011-10-26T11:28:00.000-05:00

Banner by Adam Friedli.

Arnold 365, Day 298 (True Lies)

2011-10-25T11:52:00.000-05:00

Banner by Adam Friedli.

Arnold 365, Day 297 (Twins)

2011-10-24T11:30:00.001-05:00

Banner by Adam Friedli.

Arnold 365, Day 296 (Kindergarten Cop)

2011-10-23T11:19:00.000-05:00

Banner by Adam Friedli.

Arnold 365, Day 295 (Last Action Hero)

2011-10-22T10:41:00.000-05:00

Banner by Adam Friedli.

The Guild Index: Season Five

2011-10-21T08:21:00.000-05:00

<a href='http://paralleluniverse.msn.com/the-guild/?g=b6705281-0625-41ed-b45d-c38f4ed3c2e2&src=CPSmall:embed::tag_recent' target='_new' title='Season 5 - Episode 1 - Road Trip!' >Video: Season 5 - Episode 1 - Road Trip!</a>

<a href='http://paralleluniverse.msn.com/the-guild/?g=dca75875-9924-4215-bfdd-cd526cf5cc9f&src=CPSmall:embed::tag_recent' target='_new' title='Season 5 - Episode 2 - Crash Pad' >Video: Season 5 - Episode 2 - Crash Pad</a>

<a href='http://paralleluniverse.msn.com/the-guild/?g=277ebba3-3634-4c94-915e-a5295d261851&src=CPSmall:embed::tag_recent' target='_new' title='Season 5 - Episode 3 - Megagame-o-ramacon!' >Video: Season 5 - Episode 3 - Megagame-o-ramacon!</a>

<a href='http://paralleluniverse.msn.com/the-guild/?g=201abf36-e2ca-4206-9ae9-ffe97737e21c&src=CPSmall:embed::tag_recent' target='_new' title='Season 5 - Episode 4 - Ends and Begins' >Video: Season 5 - Episode 4 - Ends and Begins</a>

<a href='http://paralleluniverse.msn.com/the-guild/?g=fad91ee7-47a4-45df-8f80-d70d79232a12&src=CPSmall:embed::tag_recent' target='_new' title='Season 5 - Episode 5 - Focus Problems' >Video: Season 5 - Episode 5 - Focus Problems</a>

<a href='http://paralleluniverse.msn.com/the-guild/?g=bfd009b3-2db3-4825-ba1b-3cc546a7044a&src=CPSmall:embed::tag_recent' target='_new' title='Season 5 - Episode 6 - Revolving Doors' >Video: Season 5 - Episode 6 - Revolving Doors</a>

<a href='http://paralleluniverse.msn.com/the-guild/?g=b9d69b75-6b41-47ed-ae9a-dd4c0fc812c9&src=CPSmall:embed::tag_recent' target='_new' title='Season 5 - Episode 7 - Downturn' >Video: Season 5 - Episode 7 - Downturn</a>

<a href='http://paralleluniverse.msn.com/the-guild/?g=41791843-cfd2-48f9-ad5d-3b935336822a&src=CPSmall:embed::tag_recent' target='_new' title='Season 5 - Episode 8 - Social Traumas' >Video: Season 5 - Episode 8 - Social Traumas</a>

<a href='http://paralleluniverse.msn.com/the-guild/?g=6cbea512-0d90-43df-adab-b7b083f4702c&src=CPSmall:embed::tag_recent' target='_new' title='Season 5 - Episode 9 - Invite Accepted' >Video: Season 5 - Episode 9 - Invite Accepted</a>

<a href='http://paralleluniverse.msn.com/the-guild/?g=e638a5ab-20e1-4bb1-a1a7-efaca7ecf491&src=CPSmall:embed::tag_recent' target='_new' title='Season 5 - Episode 10 - Strategy Timez' >Video: Season 5 - Episode 10 - Strategy Timez</a>

<a href='http://paralleluniverse.msn.com/the-guild/?g=69723af4-7503-4078-9551-5bd4bebb66be&src=CPSmall:embed::tag_recent' target='_new' title='Season 5 - Episode 11 - Costume Contest' >Video: Season 5 - Episode 11 - Costume Contest</a>

<a href='http://paralleluniverse.msn.com/the-guild/?g=d2db480a-7d46-4770-bc68-2bee14dd8756&src=CPSmall:embed::tag_recent' target='_new' title='Season 5 - Episode 12 - Grand Finale' >Video: Season 5 - Episode 12 - Grand Finale</a>

Arnold 365, Day 294 (Last Action Hero)

2011-10-21T06:43:00.000-05:00

Banner by Adam Friedli.

X-Men: Regenesis - October 19, 2011 - A Simulblog

2011-10-20T10:54:00.001-05:00

The following is a simulblog with Arthur of Arthur the Lesser. You ought to be forewarned: there will be spoilers.

I will link to Arthur's article when it is made available.

I have been having a difficult time lately expressing how big and how sad it is that the final issue of Uncanny X-Men was released this week. Uncanny X-Men is the longest running book put out by Marvel Comics. With a couple of exceptions, it has run non-stop since its "genesis" in 1963. Those exceptions include the "cancellation" from after issue sixty-six and the temporary suspension of the book during the Age of Apocalypse and replacement by Astonishing X-Men. But even the canceled book continued to put out reprints from issue sixty-seven until ninety-three, and Astonishing X-Men was merely another name for Uncanny X-Men during the alternate-universe account of what would happen if Xavier died and Magneto continued in his footsteps. As of today, the longest running Marvel book is X-Men: Legacy, which was originally published as X-Men, Volume 2. The longest running current comic put out by Marvel is a book that came out when I was eight, a book that I had every variant cover for. This makes me old. This also makes me kind of sad. I think that we must view Uncanny X-Men #544 first and foremost as a moment for mourning.

The first page of this book is a reprint of the original 1963 X-Men #1 with alternate dialogue and narration. At the beginning we had Professor Charles Xavier trying to make five youngsters - Scott Summers (Cyclops), Jean Grey (Marvel Girl), Warren Worthington, III (Angel), Henry "Hank" McCoy (Beast) and Robert "Bobby" Drake - into heroes. The dream of the first issue is transformed into the nightmare of the final issue. Cyclops has, in many ways, transformed into a Magneto figure, now militaristic, segregationist, and willing to do anything for the cause. Marvel Girl has died a couple of times now. It appears that she may be permanently dead right now, unless one believes that she is likely to return in Marvel's Point One series which, at the very least, seems to deal with the return of the Phoenix in some form. Angel has gone through several transformations, but it appears that he may be the new Apocalypse and may also be irredeemable. Beast has been away with the Avengers for some time, but returns to criticize his oldest friend's deplorable methodology. And young Bobby Drake, who remains in so many ways a good-spirited child at heart, remains loyal to the school and the brighter side of the dream. Strangely, Professor Charles Xavier is never mentioned. When at first I saw a figure dictating the story of the X-Men, I thought it would be Xavier writing his own variation on There and Back Again: A Hobbit's Tale and then closing the book at the end. But Xavier is nowhere to be seen. Maybe I'm not reading all the right books, but I have yet to see mention of where Charles Xavier stands on this whole schism thing. For right now, that is my biggest mystery.

Cyclops admits, at the end of the story, that he feels that he has finally graduated from Xavier's school. In this way, Uncanny X-Men is framed as the struggle of Cyclops and his allies as they wish to accomplish the dream of a mentor. Cyclops has completed his instruction and now becomes the instructor. But did anyone else feel like the tone of this issue is incredibly dark? I got the vibe that, even in his own book, the general feeling is that Cyclops is doing the wrong thing. Going into a reboot, however, I had thought that this book would have more of a hopeful vibe. But I don't get the feeling that there is any hope on the island called Utopia. I don't believe that Cyclops or any of his followers feel hopeful for the world. As a matter of fact, the only individual who seemed the least bit hopeful at the end of Uncanny X-Men's run was Mr. Sinister. (And maybe Uncanny has always been the story of Sinister as well. He's been placed behind the scenes of so many events, after all.) Two things happen with Sinister: 1. he experiences a transformation that I don't completely understand, and 2. he acts as if he can predict the actions of Cyclops and the mutants surrounding him and, moreover, he likes what he sees. After all, he does say, "The X-Men are over. The future? Distinctly Sinister." I think we can assume that Sinister will be the main adversary over at Uncanny.

Assuming that Professor Xavier doesn't pop out of a closet in Utopia, Cyclops has been abandoned by all of his original allies. And the people who remain are mostly individuals who have often been the foes of the X-Men and the whole of the Marvel universe. In many ways, Cyclops has thrown himself into the lion's den, but in many ways he has become just as much or more of a lion than anyone else there. I've mentioned time and time again that Cyclops is one of my favorite characters, but I have a strange sinking feeling in my gut regarding Uncanny X-Men #1 and the following stories. I don't like that Uncanny seems to be the book that plays to the hawks and Wolverine and the X-Men seems to be the book that plays to the doves. Wolverine's criticism is important. If a child believes that being an X-Man entitles killing those who stand in the way of your principles, then there is a serious problem. For Uncanny to continue being a great comic, I think Scott needs to grapple very seriously with Wolverine's criticism and his reason for leaving. Maybe it is too late for a school. Maybe Wolverine is moving backward. But moving forward cannot simply mean killing for the sake of a cause. Cyclops needs to find another way. We've got enough of this might makes right talk in the United States of America, and quite frankly, I don't want to hear it in the book that has shaped a lot of my own beliefs and ideals over the years.

The Uncanny X-Men that we knew has concluded. Something completely different is coming. Uncanny X-Men #1 comes out November 2nd, but before then we will see the other side of the coin, with Wolverine and the X-Men #1 coming out next week, October the 22nd. There should be an Arthur blog up before then, but if it doesn't happen, just stare at this splash page from Uncanny X-Men #544, a page that I immediately put on my desktop background:

Arnold 365, Day 293 (Terminator 2: Judgment Day)

2011-10-20T09:33:00.000-05:00

Banner by Adam Friedli.

A Guide to Video Game Lingo 12

2011-10-19T11:01:00.000-05:00

1. Tea bagging (verb) - also known as corpse humping, face humping, or head humping; to crouch up and down repeatedly over a slain player of NPC in order to humiliate or entertain players.

"He won't be of any use to you. He's too busy tea bagging the innkeeper."

2. Bunny hopping (verb) - the basic movement when a player jumps repeatedly rather than running, sometimes resulting in an increase in speed.

"If he'd just stop bunny hopping, I'd be able to frag him."

3. Griefing (verb) - the act of deliberately irritating or harassing other players, often done in groups.

"I don't really want to play any more. The server just has too many people griefing other people."

Arnold 365, Day 292 (Last Action Hero)

2011-10-19T10:19:00.000-05:00

Banner by Adam Friedli.

Arnold 365, Day 291 (Last Action Hero)

2011-10-18T07:23:00.000-05:00

Banner by Adam Friedli.

Jennifer Lawrence

2011-10-17T11:10:00.000-05:00

Actress Jennifer Lawrence. I first encountered Jennifer Lawrence in the not-so-glorious role of Ree in Winter's Bone. In this film she flexed her serious acting muscles, probably better than almost any other actress in 2010. Since then she's skirted the line between superficial and deep roles with emotionally complex characters in otherwise somewhat insignificant films such as The Beaver and X-Men: First Class. (X-Men: First Class could have been significant if it hadn't been preceded by Thor. Thor kind of made it difficult to notice any other superhero film in the summer of 2011.) My hope is that Jennifer Lawrence manages to find time for really interesting roles in smaller films and doesn't get too big for her britches. The odds are against this, especially considering that she's going to star in the next big children's book franchise to hit the big screen, The Hunger Games, but I remain hopeful.

Electric Cheetah

2011-10-17T08:40:00.000-05:00

There are a couple of things that you should probably know about Electric Cheetah.

The first thing that you need to know is that Electric Cheetah has a seasonal menu. I was originally going to write an article about Electric Cheetah earlier this year and one of the things I was going to rave about was their brisket sandwich. It was a really fantastic sandwich, but if you go there today you will not be able to order it. While this may seem frustrating, it is actually not so bad because of the second thing you need to know.

The second thing that you need to know is that basically every sandwich and most of the other entrees on any given Electric Cheetah is really good. I've never had a bad sandwich or meal at the Electric Cheetah. Some have been better than others, but unlike many of the other places I recommend that have one or two things that are absolutely fantastic and a bunch of other things to skip, you're more likely to love your food at the Electric Cheetah than you are to be unhappy.

But if you're looking for a bull's eye, there is one thing that I have never seen leave the Electric Cheetah menu. The third thing that you need to know is that if you have not ordered A Classic French Dip at Electric Cheetah before, you are missing out on the best french dip sandwich I have ever had. This is basically the signature sandwich at Electric Cheetah, and almost everyone I know recommends it. I've never been the biggest fan of the French Dip before Electric Cheetah - it's just so easy to make an unremarkable French Dip sandwich. But there's something about the mixture of slow roasted beef, Nantucket roll, Swiss cheese, horseradish cream and au jus that just makes A Classic French Dip fantastic. My hypothesis is that it has a lot to do with the clashing tastes of the horseradish cream and the au jus, but then again, it also has a lot to do with the quality of the beef and how it is cooked. What I can say for certain is that the French Dip will not fail you.

The fourth thing that you should probably know is that Electric Cheetah is getting hotter and hotter each year that I go there. I think that the Cheetah started as a hip restaurant in/near Eastown, but as word began to spread almost everyone in greater Grand Rapids now knows the name Electric Cheetah. As a result, weekends and evenings are likely to be kind of packed. I don't want to discourage you from going, though. Even though the restaurant is not so elegant that you have to make reservations, it never hurts to call ahead and let them know you'll be coming and how many people you will be dining with. It was a lot easier to sneak into Electric Cheetah without a wait when I used to go there at 2 PM on a week day during the summer. But on a Saturday night, during/around the Art Prize festivities, it can be kind of crazy.

Come for A Classic French Dip. Stay for the other appetizing sandwiches and dinners. And if you've tasted each and every delicacy that Electric Cheetah has to offer, just wait a couple months and the menu will be different. Invest some money in your local economy. Eat at the Electric Cheetah today.

Electric Cheetah

1015 Wealthy Street Southwest

Grand Rapids, MI 49506

Arnold 365, Day 290 (Last Action Hero)

2011-10-17T07:24:00.000-05:00

Banner by Adam Friedli.

Left 4 Dead

2011-10-16T20:46:00.000-05:00

You know, when the vampire trend was spinning out of control and spitting out some of the worst films and television programs known to man (as well as some really cool stuff; I won't forget that), I started believing that it was time for people to start getting into zombies.

When I was first in college, getting my philosophy degree, I descended into the world of George Romero's Night of the Living Dead. These films were some of the best movies I've ever seen. I used to watch horror films because of how ridiculous they were, but now I was watching zombie movies that were smart and told me something about "human nature." To this day, Dawn of the Dead remains one of my favorite movies of all time.

Left 4 Dead was a franchise that came about long before the zombie thing started to feel like it was being done to death. And the brilliance of these games stems from the fact that it feels like you are inside of a Romero zombie movie. You are controlling one of four main characters.

I've come to love this game enough that it has crept into my every day life. For example, whenever someone has a headache, I have the unhealthy compulsion to shout out "Pills here!" And sometimes when there is a girl crying in public I like to shout out "WITCH!" OK, that last one was a lie, but I have definitely said the former quite a few times.

Just play the game.

Spoiler Alert: Death of Spoiler Alert

2011-10-16T18:38:00.000-05:00

The whole Spoiler Alert project was a lot of fun for me, but it was also a whole lot of work. It didn't really turn into a community discussion like I had hoped, so I'm just not going to do it anymore. No hard feelings. It's not you. It's me.

Arnold 365, Day 289 (Last Action Hero)

2011-10-16T08:17:00.000-05:00

Banner by Adam Friedli.

Venture Bros

2011-10-15T21:19:00.000-05:00

In the tradition of such cartoons as Harvey Birdman, Attorney at Law and Space Ghost: Coast to Coast, Venture Bros quite brilliantly takes on the cartoons of our youth. As a result, it is, for the most part, aimed at those of us who were kids in the late 70s and the 80s. It is not a cartoon for children. Like much of anime, it is a cartoon for adults, and that is why it is featured on Cartoon Network's Adult Swim.

The distinctions that I have drawn above assume that there is some way of measuring whether and to what extent one is a child or an adult. Venture Bros does not make this assumption. Rather, with an emphasis on the psychology and politics of heroes and villains, it reveals that, like the rest of us, cartoon characters carry with them, throughout their lives, the pains of their childhood. They act out the wars of their parents. And, most of all, they are motivated by the things that they lacked in their youth.

Don't get me wrong. I'm not trying to say that Venture Bros is a serious television program. No. Venture Bros is a comedy. A smart and witty comedy. A penetrating comedy. Sometimes a painful comedy. Maybe this means that they're making fun of the adults who watch this program. We carry with us our Johnny Quests and our Fantastic Fours, and where do we carry them? Into the office of our therapists.

Venture Bros is awesome. And, yes. That's a word I learned from the Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles. And, no. I do not want to lay down on a couch and tell you how I feel about this fact. (OK, I feel a little frightened. Smiling emoticon.)

Arnold 365, Day 288 (Last Action Hero)

2011-10-15T09:56:00.000-05:00

Banner by Adam Friedli.

The Guild

2011-10-14T20:27:00.000-05:00

The really interesting thing about The Guild is the story behind The Guild. During the writer's strike, Felicia Day had a lot of down time. As a result, she was playing a whole lot of World of Warcraft. There came a point, however, when she needed to force herself to stop playing and do something worthwhile. So, she created a web series called The Guild that was essentially about trying to have a normal life while being devoted to WoW. Of course, since then it has been revealed that the characters are not playing Wow, but a game called The Game that is ridiculously similar to WoW.

Maybe we can learn something from the example of Felicia Day and The Guild. I know that I'm struggling to make something worthwhile come out of my free time right now. Maybe some people might think this blog is an example of succeeding in creating something beyond myself. But I know that there's something bigger out there that I could be doing. I just have to have the kind of vision that Felicia Day had during the writer's strike. I just have to make something great.

30 Rock

2011-10-14T12:03:00.000-05:00

No network has ever made fun of itself nearly as much as NBC does with 30 Rock. A direct rip-off of the live comedy program Saturday Night Live, 30 Rock is capable of making fun of NBC, Lorne Michaels, and prime time programming, while also making time for pokes at producers, directors, actors and writers. Nobody is safe from 30 Rock, most especially not the people who are involved in making 30 Rock. And how could you lose with a cast of Tracey Morgan, probably my favorite SNL comedian, Tina Fey, one of the best writers for SNL, and Alec Baldwin, one of the most prolific and recognizable hosts of SNL. The only way that they could make 30 Rock better is to add the up-and-coming most prolific host, singer/actor/comedian/multi-threat Justin Timberlake to the cast. I just saw him in the movie Bad Teacher and I have no doubt that he's ready to join Tracey, Tina and Alec. ("Hi. I got you something." "What? You didn't have to do that." "It's nothing. It's, well, my favorite book." "Eat, Pray, Love?" "Yeah." "This, this is my favorite book too." "What's your favorite part?" "Love.") If you want some fun, superficial comedy that makes fun of everything else you see on TV, then watch 30 Rock. You're bound to have some office quotes for the next day that aren't simply dumb quotes from The Office. (Seriously? Planking?)

The Social Network (2010)

2011-10-14T10:53:00.000-05:00

I remember hearing a friend of mine repeatedly say, "I refuse to see a movie about Facebook," and whenever he repeated these words they sounded like a moral stance. The subtext was obvious: "Nobody should see this movie. Why would anyone want to see The Social Network?"

I'll admit that I had some issues with the pacing of this film, but in the end it was one of those important movies that speaks to the zeitgeist of our time. I remember when Facebook was only available to select colleges, and my friend Becky, then a student at Central Michigan University wanted me to be her "friend." "We're already friends," I thought, but I signed up for an account anyways. Today, you're a social outcast if you're not on the social network. People don't buy web sites anymore. Even famous celebrities and bands will sometimes have either a Facebook page or a blog instead of a home page. For better or worse, Facebook has taken up more of the public consciousness of the United States of America than any other one thing.

The film The Social Network merely gives us the other side of the story, the part that we didn't know we were taking part in. It tells us about the motives behind this juggernaut, this behemoth that has taken over our lives. It commemorates the events that lead to our hypnosis.

There is a strong part of me, the part that is familiar with Buddhist teachings, that believes that Facebook is something that I need to be liberated from. It is something that keeps my consciousness from devoting itself to better and more important things. But if that ever happens I want it to happen as a result of understanding rather than ignorance.

I'm not going to blame The Social Network. It was a fantastic film with great performances by that geeky guy, the guy from N'Sync and future-Spider-man. If there's anyone to blame for my dependence on Facebook, it's me.

Ukrainian Folk Band, "Highway to Hell"

2011-10-14T10:03:00.000-05:00

Spoiler Alert: Fringe S04E03

2011-10-14T09:24:00.000-05:00

While this episode was pretty interesting, a little mix of E.T.: The Extra-Terrestrial (the child's psychic connection to the fungus), Star Trek (the needs of the many outweigh the needs of the few, or the one), and Care Bears (the child doesn't feel like anyone cares for him), there wasn't a whole lot of development of the central season-long story arcs.

1. Walter and Olivia's Insane Outing

Not only is Walter bound to his laboratory and his living quarters, but he has to have continuing analysis by approved therapists to assure that he can remain out in the world. The appearance of Dr. Sindel casts a very troubling light on an upcoming problem. Walter needs to, at the very least, appear sane, or else he is going to be carted back to the looney bin. Of course, he's seeing his erased adult son Peter in reflective surfaces and hearing him everywhere, so we've got some sort of problem here.

The problem is only exacerbated by the fact that Olivia has been seeing the same person, Peter, in her dreams. She presents Walter with a picture that she drew of this "Man in the Mirror," a picture that she has been running through facial recognition programs.

The episode ends with Walter exclaiming, "We have to find him." And it sounds like the beginning of an adventure. But will this adventure end with Walter, and possibly Olivia also, in the mental asylum?

2. Aaron

This child, Aaron, who established the psychic link with the murderous fungus, has been alone for some time. Nothing is said about his parents. It is said that he has been staying with a neighbor for a while, but that the neighbor ignores him. He has absolutely nowhere to go and nobody to care for him. But Walter has a hole in his heart where once Peter lives, and Walter promises to care for Aaron.

At the end, Aaron is carted off to the hospital. We are left wondering whether Aaron will actually join the regular cast of the show, which seems to be what Walter promised, or whether he will be brushed off and only serve the purpose of making this particular episode work. I hope that he becomes a regular, and I think it is likely considering the mystery regarding his loneliness.

See you next time.